Royal baby's name

[RivkahChaya]

Advice on baby names from the website Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing. It's the "Cake Wrecks" of 21st century children's names.

Q: What should I name my kids?
A: I can’t give you the perfect name. I’m much better at cursing the darkness, anyway. But here are a few tips I’ve gleaned from digging around bulletin boards, books, and the tons of e-mails I get from readers:

1) Generally avoid nouns. You’re asking for trouble.
2) Do a Google search for your name ideas. If all you get are porn sites, white supremacist groups and pictures of My Little Ponies – it’s a bad name.
3) Look at lists of the most popular baby names for the last three years. Steer clear of the top 10, and definitely steer clear of any names that suddenly jump from #150 to #25.
4) No celebrity names. Your kids will immediately hate this celebrity, and be horribly embarrassed forever.
5) If you like a common name, but don’t like how it’s spelled, tough. Either use the usual spelling, or find a new name. Andrywe is NOT a name. If people can’t get it right on the second try, it’s not worth the hassle.
6) Most Americans are assimilated cultural mutts, without much connection to their ancestry. If you want to reconnect with your heritage, go to the library. Do not name your kid Bronwyn and think you are now in touch with your 1/16 Welsh side.
7) A stupid sounding name is still a stupid sounding name even if its meaning is “beloved queen” or something else nice.
8) Do not name your kid with elementary school bullies in mind. If it isn’t incredibly obvious (Gaylord, Fartoff), they’re going to get that little bit teased like the rest of us were, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
9) Try these on for size: “Thank you, Mr. Chairman. I’d like to introduce you to the new CEO of MultiGlobal Corp., [blank blank]” or “Also on the presidential panel is MIT’s chief biochemical researcher, Dr. [blank blank].
10) Assuming your child will live to age 70, s/he will spend 16% of their life as a child, 10% of their life as teenagers and 14% as senior citizens. The remaining 60% of their lives they will be adults. Plan accordingly.

2) & 10) especially important. During the 1990s, I knew of a corporate attorney, born in the early 1960s, with the unfortunate name of Buffy Cohen. Obviously, her parents didn't think past tying ribbons in her curls, to what "Buffy Cohen, esq.," or "The Honorable Buffy Cohen," or "Governor Buffy Cohen," would look like. Since she wasn't "B. <dignified name> Cohen," they probably stuck with an equally cute middle name.

Worse, the character Anissa Jones played had a backstory: "Buffy" was a nickname-- her real name was Elizabeth.

Worser: Anissa Jones went on to die of an infamous drug overdose at age 18. The ME said it was the most drugs he'd ever seen anyone manage to get into their body without passing out first.

[Beowulf]

Oh, wow. It's a boy! Congratulations, England!

I'm going on record to say I think his name will be George. Just have a feeling.

I was thinking earlier that they ought to name him George

We were rightalways trust esp...http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/...96L05320130724

[RivkahChaya]

Let's face it, most Americans couldn't find America on a map.

Now now, it's the one with Florida sticking out like a *giggle* dong. I can't tell you how many jr. high schoolers I know who are quite successful at finding Africa as well, because of its similarity to a flaccid penis.

Why would an American be able to place Wales or Scotland, anyway?

Because geography is important? Honestly, most Americans don't even know their state capitals, or the capitals of Canada and Mexico. I don't expect Americans to be able to draw a contiguous map of Europe, but I do expect people to 1) be able to find Europe on a world map; 2) know that Scotland is part of the UK; and 3) know that the UK is an island on the far west of Europe. If you know those things, and you can spell "Scotland," then you can find it on a map.

See, I don't expect Americans to correctly label a blank map of Europe, but I think knowing Italy=south, Sweden=north, Germany=central, Hungary= east central is important, and if you know those things, then you can find those countries on a correctly labeled map.

In terms of names, I'm with Rivkah. Whatever happened to good old English names such as: Johnny, Jack, Jimmy, Bobby, Alf, Stan, Billy, Tommy? They seem a nice enough couple but I'm not really interested in their lives or the monarchy, but for the sake of sanity and a restoration of Englishness, let's have: John.

My son's name is John. People ask us how to spell it, and no, they are not asking whether it is "Jon," short for Jonathan. They want to know if it might possibly be "Gianne," or "Ghawn."

These days people are named Sky - that's not a name, it's part of our environment!

Count your blessings. We have skies over here, but they're "Czckiss," or something.

I thought this one kindergarten teacher I knew would start crying when she told me about her class one year (about 15 years ago). She had a Britanny, Britony, Britni, Bretagne (those parents were my favorite), and also a Brianna, just in the morning class. In the afternoon, she had another Brianna, but pronounced differently from the one in the morning, a Breyona, a Britney, another Brittany, and just for fun, a Bretta. Also, in one of the classes, there was a boy named Bryon. Not a typo for Byron. (Yes, I am sure I got all those right, because I asked her to email them to me, and I saved the file). She had to remember all the spellings and pronunciations, and here is the hard part: remember which one went with which child. If she spelled a kid's name wrong, or called one by the wrong named, the parents got extremely irate, in spite of the fact that anyone who names a kid "Breyona," really shouldn't have high expectations for other people.

When I complain about this, there's always someone who points out that fixed spelling of words is a new phenomenon, and Shakespeare didn't have a fixed spelling for his name. I say, fine, then I can spell Brianna anyway that strikes my ear as correct, and the parents can shut up about it. Her birth certificate may say "Bhreeyonuh," but hey, Shakespeare didn't have a fixed spelling. Maybe tomorrow, I'll spell her name with four Ns and a silent Q.

[Ginger]

George Alexander Louis!

[The Good Michael]

I always liked the title of Toom Tabard. It fits the royal function to a T.

Mike

[lynn cates]

blow

Hello David. Thanks.

It would be a blow to EVERYONE.

Cheers.
LC

[Phil Carter]

Err Scott, ] believe he will be Prince x y z of Cambridge.


His title - but the family surname is Mountbatten-Windsor.

The royal house (i.e. dynasty) is called Windsor.

Phil

Indeed.. I was referring to his title


Phil

[Fleetwood Mac]

Has this kid got a name yet or what?

Just Prince I think.

The royal formerly known as Prince, or something like that.

[Fleetwood Mac]

And you've met most Americans? Ignorant comment.

Mike

All of the Americans I've met, admittedly 0.0001% of the US population, have seemed fairly knowledgeable to me; and always courteous.

Why would an American be able to place Wales or Scotland, anyway? The equivalent would be expecting a Briton to be able to place Ohio. I'd be willing to bet good money that 90% of the British population could not place more than 5 states correctly.

All of this goes back centuries to the days when European despots had a vested interest in having their subjects believe that Americans are idiots. I mean, imagine if it came to light that the citizens of a country without monarchy were better fed, better educated and more politicised than your average European. I think it was de Tocqueville who said something like: "they're more involved, but because of this they're destined to elect average leaders". Well, I'd much rather be involved than take the word of someone who had form for Despotism.

It's all a bit strange really as once upon a time liberals in England gushed praise onto the US as the 'next step othe road to freedom'. These days, liberals see the US as the anti-christ. It says a lot for the way Liberalism has been distorted into some malnourished offshoot which is anything but liberal.

In terms of names, I'm with Rivkah. Whatever happened to good old English names such as: Johnny, Jack, Jimmy, Bobby, Alf, Stan, Billy, Tommy? They seem a nice enough couple but I'm not really interested in their lives or the monarchy, but for the sake of sanity and a restoration of Englishness, let's have: John.

Should have added Joe, Dick and Teddy to the list of English names.

Was just thinking of my grandparents and their siblings names.

One of my Grandma had seven siblings and their names were: Bella, Dick, Joe, Ted, Doris, Violet, Alf and Florence. Only 95 years ago, but seems an eternity. These days people are named Sky - that's not a name, it's part of our environment!

[Sally]

Has this kid got a name yet or what?

[The Good Michael]

Let's face it, most Americans couldn't find America on a map.

G

And you've met most Americans? Ignorant comment.

Mike

[Phil H]

Norman Davis, in his great book "The Isles" has a deeply interesting discussion of this.

I believe also that until the mid-C19th it was formally correct to use England as a synonym for Britain in diplomatic contexts.

Phil

[Chris Scott]

There is often confusion between terms which are purely geographical and terms which are geopolitical.
British Isles - is a purely geographical term which denotes all of the islands which make up what might be termed the British group, thus including the mainland, all of the island of Ireland and all surrounding islands such as the the Orkneys, Hebrides, Shetlands, Channel Islands, Scillies etc.
Great Britain - what is commonly called the Mainland i.e. the main landmass of the British Isles. This includes England and Wales, Scotland and attendant islands
United Kingdom - Those parts of the British Isles united politically under the British Crown. This includes England and Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland and attendant islands. Strictly speaking this does not include the Crown Dependencies, those historical oddities that answer directly to the Crown and not to the UK parliament. These are the Channel Islands and the Isle of Man, which have their own parliaments.
The term "Britain" has no specific meaning per se but I would suggest it is usually used as a synonym for the United Kingdom.
Even the British themselves get confused about these terms and misuse them. A classic recent example was the 2012 Olympics. The British team was "branded" as Team GB but the use of the term Great Britain, which applies only to the mainland, would have precluded the entry of any athletes from Northern Ireland which is not part of "GB." Of course, this was not done, but the branding strictly should have been as "Team UK."

[DVV]

Hello Phil.

"If Scotland votes for independence next year - whither then?"

Heaven forbid.

Cheers.
LC

That would be a bit of a blow for the British Lions.

[Mayerling]

Hi Phil,

I have heard that due to De Valera's Spanish sounding name (and ancestry) all kinds of rumors arose about him - but not that he was a British agent. He had fought in the Easter Rebellion, and was lucky not to have been shot. He followed strict neutrality in World War II except to aid Belfast after bombing raids with fire engines. When Hitler arranged an accidental bombing to warn De Valera not to aid the North, De Valera informed the Nazi ambassador that if another "accident" occurred he would end the neutrality and join the Allies. No repeat of the accidental bombing occured as a result.

I had heard of the Curragh Mutiny, and how it forced Asquith to stop the implementation of Home Rule (although it barely passed the House of Commons vote). The World War did give the British something else to think about, but when it was over the situation was graver because of the successful leadership of Collins, Griffith, and De Valera in organizing a guerrilla resistance. This led to that 1922 agreement, but it really only satisfied the leader of the Northern Irish Unionists (James Craig), and Lloyd George, who at least finally gave some direction and settlement to the Irish problem. Griffith died shortly after signing the treaty, but Collins was killed in an ambush a number of weeks later for signing it. De Valera, who should have been in at the signing decided not to go - and was able to claim he never negotiated the division of Ireland in the treaty. His stand and that of the supporters of the treaty was to initiate that Civil War that Ireland had for a few years.

Jeff