Originally posted by Smoking Joe
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I know any number of women who have had sex with people they didn't want to have sex with. They didn't want to have sex before they started drinking, thought it was a fantastic idea when they were drunk, an upon sobering up were once again not a fan of the idea. They didn't want to have sex, but they did it willingly under the influence. That's not rape, that's poor impulse control. Now in most states if a man is sober and a woman is blitzed he can be charged with rape. But typically both parties are not sober, so it isn't rape. It's just really embarrassing.
I have heard some stories in my day where really all I can think was "Well what did you think would happen?" (and sometimes "please god never let this person breed). To speak bluntly, if you give him permission to "put the tip in" and it results in full penetration, I'm sorry you feel violated by that, but if you had talked any other living soul about that plan they would have told you what would happen. It's very hard for me to see that as an argument of rape. That's just being epically stupid.
There is also such a thing now as conditional rape, and that's a tough one. For example, if a woman consents to sex on the condition that he wears a condom, and he does not, that can be rape. If a disease is transmitted it's assault, and if AIDS is transmitted it's attempted murder. I'm a fan of this idea, the problem I have with it is that it absolves the woman of just checking to see he really put one on. Which come on how hard is that? I mean, we recognize that a driver is not at fault if they hit someone who just lunges into traffic.
But what it really boils down to is that 50 percent of women who have been raped don't want to have been raped. So instead of an assault, it's a "misunderstanding". And I'm not saying legitimate misunderstandings don't happen. I had an appalling one with my male best friend in High School. And it was not a one sided thing. He asked me if I wanted to, but in my drunken literal state I thought he was asking if he could crash next to me on the only bed in the house, which I was fine with. Seriously, I need diagrams when I'm hammered, since subtlety and you know, slang, are completely lost on me. Genuine misunderstanding. But because it was genuine, because he was interested in a willing partner, he stopped. I find it hard to fathom how a genuine misunderstanding ends in penetration. Because if you expect a willing partner, a crying woman should tingle the spidey-senses so to speak. These rape victims just don't want to have been raped. They make excuses and usually what happens is they allow these guys to do it again, either to them again or another unsuspecting woman.
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