Favourite Quotations

[c.d.]

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."

Comedian George Burns

[Herlock Sholmes]

I was going to start a ‘quotes’ thread but I saw this one.

One of my favourites is from the Great Defender Edward Marshall Hall. It’s a bit patronising but I love the sarcasm.


Judge: “Mr Marshall Hall, is your client familiar with the doctrine res ipsa loquitur?

Marshall Hall: “My Lord, in the remote hills of County Donegal from where my client hails they speak of little else”

Rumpole always his ‘Life Of Edward Marshall Hall’ with him and it’s a line you can imagine Rumpole saying.

[Bridewell]

Bob Dylan at his sweetest:

”One day you’ll be in the ditch, flies buzzin’ around your eyes, blood on your saddle.”

Idiot Wind

another from Bob Dylan:

"even the President of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked!" (What a horrible thought that is).

[Bridewell]

Reminds me of the story when Tommy Cooper was introduced to the Queen at the Royal Variety Performance.

Despite having been instructed to only speak if spoken to, Tommy caused concern and mild panic by starting a conversation. He enquired, ''Do you like football, your Majesty?''. Although a little taken aback, she replied, ''Err well no, not really, Mr Cooper. I can't say I do.'' Quick as a flash, he then asked, ''In that case, can I have your tickets for the Cup Final?''.

On a similar theme: David Niven, when a young army officer, was on parade waiting for inspection by a young Queen Elizabeth II, accompanied by the Duke of Edinburgh:

"Oh no! She's brought that bloody Greek with her!"

[OneRound]

I suppose a knighthood is out of the question.

Spike Milligan,after referring to Prince Charles as a grovelling bastard.

Reminds me of the story when Tommy Cooper was introduced to the Queen at the Royal Variety Performance.

Despite having been instructed to only speak if spoken to, Tommy caused concern and mild panic by starting a conversation. He enquired, ''Do you like football, your Majesty?''. Although a little taken aback, she replied, ''Err well no, not really, Mr Cooper. I can't say I do.'' Quick as a flash, he then asked, ''In that case, can I have your tickets for the Cup Final?''.

[DJA]

Jackie Clancy earned a reprimand from the station manager for the way he'd reported the news that a local couple, Mr and Mrs Harold Ball, had saved the life of one of the city's policemen. Apparently the policeman, on his motorbike, had skidded into the river and, according to Jackie, had been 'pulled out by the Balls'. Jackie progressed to television and, being very much a man's man, the macho male Aussie quickly took Jackie to their hearts. He appeared with Des O'Connor and on a separate show with Bill Maynard, both, like Jackie, former Butlin Redcoats.

One of the funniest guys on Aussie radio/TV in the late 1950s early 1960s.
His sense of humor was before it's time and he was often banned.
Largely forgotten now.

[MrBarnett]

"There's two things in life I hate, Budgie - and you're both of them!" Charlie Endall in 'Budgie' starring Adam Faith.

I once bumped into Budgie’s wife at a pedestrian crossing.

[DJA]

I suppose a knighthood is out of the question.

Spike Milligan,after referring to Prince Charles as a grovelling bastard.

[MrBarnett]

Bob Dylan at his sweetest:

”One day you’ll be in the ditch, flies buzzin’ around your eyes, blood on your saddle.”

Idiot Wind

[DJA]

Adam Faith.

'If You Want Me,It's Alright.

Love that record.

[The Rookie Detective]

“I told you I was ill”

by Spike Milligan

[Bridewell]

"There's two things in life I hate, Budgie - and you're both of them!" Charlie Endall in 'Budgie' starring Adam Faith.

[Bridewell]

Or in my case -

''I used to be conceited but now I'm perfect.''

"I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure,"

[DJA]

I have my plans.
God has her's.
Mine do not count.

[OneRound]

Different versions exist, but here is one.

"I never made a mistake in my life, though once I thought I had, but I was wrong."

Or in my case -

''I used to be conceited but now I'm perfect.''