Favourite Quotations

[Svensson]

"Always carry a flask of whiskey in case of snakebite. Furthermore always carry a small snake" - W.C. Fields

[OneRound]

Keith Miller, Australian cricketing great and Word War Two pilot, putting life in perspective when asked about the pressure of playing Test cricket:
''I'll tell you what pressure is. Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse. Playing cricket is not.''

[OneRound]

There is no such thing as luck.There is either good judgement or bad judgement.Author unknown.

Hi Harry - I'm sure the great South African golfer Gary Player would subscribe to that. Upon being labelled a lucky player, he countered:
''The harder I practice, the luckier I get.''

[Bridewell]

"Women are like pianos. Some are upright; the rest are grand". I don't know who came up with that one and it's not very PC - but quite funny IMHO.

[Svensson]

The fun is very much in the non-PC... a variation of this being "Men are like tiles. If you lay them properly, you can walk all over them for years to come"

The Keith Miller story reminds me of an actual quote of my grand dad who served in the German army on the eastern front in 43/44. He became a diesel mechanic after the war and used to say: "if you can fix a tank engine in a minus 40 degree blizzard, while being shot at, you can do anything..."

[Bridewell]

O Lord! thou knowest how busy I must be this day: if I forget thee, do not thou forget me.

Jacob Astley, 1st Baron Astley of Reading (before the Battle of Edgegill)

[Bridewell]

"Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me send them while I'm still alive." Brian Clough OBE

[DJA]

[B]O Lord! thou knowest how busy I must be this day: if I forget thee, do not thou forget me.
March on boys.

Jacob Astley, 1st Baron Astley of Reading (before the Battle of Edgegill)

Just added "March on boys".

[Bridewell]

"Give it you greedy bast....oh, great goal!" Alan Ball (as Geoff Hurst scored his hat-trick goal).

[DJA]

"Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me send them while I'm still alive." Brian Clough OBE

Somehow reminds me of the Johnny Rotten version of that Neil Diamond song.

[Wickerman]

Different versions exist, but here is one.

"I never made a mistake in my life, though once I thought I had, but I was wrong."

[DJA]

Use that one a bit.

"I thought I made a mistake once,however I was wrong".

The look on peoples' faces makes it very worthwhile.

[GUT]

Use that one a bit.

"I thought I made a mistake once,however I was wrong".

The look on peoples' faces makes it very worthwhile.

My version is

I thought I was wrong once.
Turned out I was mistaken.

[DJA]

Just slip it into an "appropriate" discussion. Real understated casual dead pan.

Works well with medical staff,doctors,nurses.

Don't you love it when you go to the reception desk and are asked "How are you today?" AARRRGHHH!

[Herlock Sholmes]

"Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me send them while I'm still alive." Brian Clough OBE

I recall Clough's response when asked if he thought that he was the best manager in the world:

"I'm definitely in the top one."