Parents Raising "Theybies": Letting Kids Decide Their Gender

[Ginger]

But if they were only attracted to one gender then gender is important. You can be attracted to either gender or both of course but you can’t simply choose which gender you want be ‘identified’ with as if it’s a kind of club membership. Nature is often ‘inconvenient’ but it can’t be overcome by wish-thinking which appears to be what an increasing amount of people seem to want everyone to accept. To drag children into a politically correct fantasy is selfish imo. What’s the point in telling them to ‘pick’ a gender when they can’t understand the massive issues that it will cause them in later life. They’re basically using their kids as accessories.

Gender, however, isn't biologically determined. This, again, is why I deplore the overlapping terminology used to describe both the biological fact of sex, and the conceptual identity of gender. Gender's a social grouping, much the same as 'social class' is. And, while the circumstances of one's birth might favour one's identification with a given social class, it's not absolute, any more than what biological sex one is born inflexibly determines what gender one will identify as. I certainly don't deny that one's biological sex strongly predisposes one toward the social and behavioural characteristics of the 'matching' gender. In that sense, gender is linked to, influenced by, and can even be said to arise from, biology. It's not deterministic, though. Having a male body no more requires one to develop a male gender than having a human body requires one to develop an ability to climb trees or swim.

So far as children's decisions having unexpected consequences later, that's simply part of life. I'm finding decisions that I made in my 30s and 40s benefitting and harming me both, in ways that I could never have predicted. In the end, children are going to make a decision anyway, as they always have. I think it's better if they make it deliberately, with some thought involved, rather than just going with the flow.

[Robert]

I'm identifying as a cup of tea. Perfect peace and quiet.

[Herlock Sholmes]

But if they were only attracted to one gender then gender is important. You can be attracted to either gender or both of course but you can’t simply choose which gender you want be ‘identified’ with as if it’s a kind of club membership. Nature is often ‘inconvenient’ but it can’t be overcome by wish-thinking which appears to be what an increasing amount of people seem to want everyone to accept. To drag children into a politically correct fantasy is selfish imo. What’s the point in telling them to ‘pick’ a gender when they can’t understand the massive issues that it will cause them in later life. They’re basically using their kids as accessories.

[Ginger]

It is perhaps somewhat old-fashioned of me, but I would far rather have a boyfriend (or, come to that, a girlfriend) who's attracted to me because of who I am, rather than because of what gender I profess.

[Busy Beaver]

I can't stand this fad for wacky, made-up names, or incorrect spellings of real ones; apparently "Kadyn" derives from the Scottish "Caden", so why not spell it "Caden"? It smacks either of pretentiousness or ignorance.

Perhaps more apposite in this context, another pet hate is giving kids a name of the wrong gender - Meredith, for example, is almost invariably a girl's name these days, but it's a male name in the original Welsh, and Paris was an important male character in the Trojan War.

Finally, what's the idea of using an obvious surname as a forename? (e.g. the actor McKenzie Crook, golfers Davis Love and Curtis Strange, and the tenor Rogers Covey-Crump). It's akin to giving your kid the first name of "Jenkins" or "Smith", and I find it utterly bizarre.

I could go on, but... mini-rant over

Whilst researching my family tree, I found a gentleman born in Glasgow around the 1880's called Galt Galloway Smith. His dad had the same name.

[Harry D]

I am absolutely shocked, Harry. For some reason I thought you would be a huge proponent of this type of thing.

c.d.

Lowest form of wit.

[c.d.]

Even if these kids turn out to be heterosexual and relatively normal as adults, I can't imagine that there are a lot of heterosexual women out there thinking if only I could meet a guy who doesn't identify as male.

Of course it could be an advantage for a guy. On a date when the check comes and the woman looks at you expecting you to take it you just say sorry I don't follow traditional gender roles. Why don't you pick this one up?

c.d.

[Herlock Sholmes]

I’m sorry but this whole gender thing is the thin end of the wedge. If a child is a boy then he is a boy. If a child is a girl then she is a girl. ‘Gender roles’ are becoming less defined and important and so should be this huge issue that people are willing to try and subvert human biology to accommodate.

[Ginger]

First, people who think up atrocious neologisms such as "theybies" should be whipped through town at the tail of a cart.

Now that I've got that out of the way, I think the idea of allowing children to decide their own gender is a wise and humane one. Keep in mind that we're speaking of gender roles, which are a social construct, and not of biological sex. It's unfortunate that we use overlapping terminology such as "male" and "female" to describe both sex and gender, as it confuses the issue.

For all that the left has spent the last half-century denying the validity, and even the existence of gender roles, they persist. Personally, I never really had a strong gender identity (biologically male, more gay than straight, although I have reservations about the idea of binary sexual orientation also), and seldom think of myself in gendered terms. I'm just me. That being said, there are people for whom it is desperately important that they be perceived as one or the other gender. For the most part, they're the ones who are going to most consistently act out the role of 'boy' or 'girl', to the extent of being more Royalist than the King, as it were.

[c.d.]

People wanted us to become a more progressive, more feminized society. Here's the result.

I am absolutely shocked, Harry. For some reason I thought you would be a huge proponent of this type of thing.

c.d.

[Herlock Sholmes]

People wanted us to become a more progressive, more feminized society. Here's the result.

As I’ve said before Harry, as soon as they start taking names for colonising the moon I’m off.

[Herlock Sholmes]

Another thing that bugs me about names ending in "-yn" is that one would expect "yn" to rhyme with "in", not "en", "an" or "on" - which is how the normal spellings of these names would end. For example, I've seen people called "Jadyn", "Ashtyn", "Jordyn" and even (I kid you not) "Jasyn". Are we to pronounce these as "Jaden", "Ashton", "Jordan" and "Jason", or is it "Jadin", "Ashtin", "Jordin" and "Jasin"? It's bad enough that traditional, and not-so-traditional, names are being mangled, but the conventions of spelling and pronunciation are seemingly being ignored as well.

I sense your pain Garyth

Its a very annoying trend. Even established names aren’t good enough for people these days. Vacuous celebrities should take much of the blame for this. Kids are fashion accessories and the parents appear to care little about the fact their son Jordyn Fluffy Bear is going to spend the rest of his life having the p**s mercilessly taken out of him.

[Harry D]

The world is going utterly insane. What's wrong with these people?

People wanted us to become a more progressive, more feminized society. Here's the result.

[Sam Flynn]

Another thing that bugs me about names ending in "-yn" is that one would expect "yn" to rhyme with "in", not "en", "an" or "on" - which is how the normal spellings of these names would end. For example, I've seen people called "Jadyn", "Ashtyn", "Jordyn" and even (I kid you not) "Jasyn". Are we to pronounce these as "Jaden", "Ashton", "Jordan" and "Jason", or is it "Jadin", "Ashtin", "Jordin" and "Jasin"? It's bad enough that traditional, and not-so-traditional, names are being mangled, but the conventions of spelling and pronunciation are seemingly being ignored as well.

[Takod]

apparently "Kadyn" derives from the Scottish "Caden", so why not spell it "Caden"? It smacks either of pretentiousness or ignorance.

It's almost certainly pretentiousness, combined with a complete ignorance of the child's life experience and wellbeing. No one's going to ask how to spell Jack! Yet a Yorkshire girl called Bluberreh and spelt the same is going to have a very hard time explaining their parents' decisions and will probably lead an extensively difficult life.

I just can’t fathom what would go through a parents mind that would make them think that their kids needed to decide for themselves what sex they are. Life is full of difficulties which can’t be solved by simply changing the way we use words or by distorting reality. It wouldn’t make my life any better if I ‘identified’ as a millionaire.

Reading "The Second Sex" by Simone de Beauvoir might give some hints as to why on earth this has all come about, unfortunately the only people who are genuinely illuminated after reading it (and not mortified) are probably insane. As for how the parents are fed this trash; it's through the papers, "how to be a happy single mummy" blogs and other such things.