Jilted Ex-Boyfriend Puts Up Abortion Billboard

[Sally]

A lot of pregnancies end is miscarriage - it's about a quarter, I think, so this lady could easily have had a miscarriage. Its very common.

Also, the medical term is 'abortion' whether the foetus has died through spontaneous miscarriage or through a planned abortion - which does lead to confusion sometimes.

As far as I know, allegations of abortion are quite commonly directed at women who have had miscarriages - there seems to be a lot of perceived fault attached to something that is beyond anybody's control, ultimately.

[babybird67]

Nevermind.

Never mind is two words. I only mention it as your 'may' where I used 'might' appears to be some form of comment on my use of grammar and vocabulary.

I don't......but I can only say I am taking this at face value so many times.

Why are you taking it at face value? Why don't you take the woman's claim that she had a miscarriage as the truth? What reason do you have to put faith in anything this man says?

It would be hypocritical if I took actions to get what you wrote removed, but I didn't.....infact if you actually read what I wrote I said I did not care what a no-mark on a website wrote......so HAHA!

So it's ok for anybody to say anything about anybody else then? Regardless of truth? Nice position.

I never said she was but, but if I can be worse than him for admiring an original and non-violent form of revenge.....I'm sure you can be worse than her.

You don't seem to understand your attempt at insulting me was meaningless since she has done nothing wrong. She is a victim. So if you think accusing someone of being worse than someone else who suffered a miscarriage, I can only advise you you need a new form of insults, because that one really doesn't cut it.

Revenge is not something to be admired. It is what mean childish people do when they cannot get their own way. It is not something to condone or admire when someone who does not know the truth about a situation puts lies and rumours in a public domain about somebody else. At least, I don't think it is. I think its reprehensible. I also think the support of it is reprehensible. We obviously have different moral standards, and that's fine.

Quite right, you are not condoning it you are activly taking part in it......and with all your HAHA's and LOL's you seem to be enjoying it......and the sad part it you don't even realise you are doing it.

I am actively taking part in trying to defend the victim. The LOLs and HAHAs are directed at your attitude, not the situation, because i find the defence of gossip and lies laughable.

Hope that clears that up for you.

[babybird67]

i didn't realise he was an adult sleeping with a teenager

maybe she should put a billboard up labelling him a paedophile?

After all, it would be an original form of revenge, and as such, obviously totally justifiable.

[Errata]

Hi Errata,

I think the problem here is that when soiled linen is displayed in public like that it usually results in people taking sides, either for the alleged victim (the proclaimer) or the other side on the recieving end.

Both sides of course are vitually devoid of any relevent information. So it results in heated views, opinions and debates on issues that could or could be not part of the case.

None of us know enough about all of this to make a ballanced decision on what happened and who was to blame for the abortion if there was one, or the preganancy in the first place, or the lack of communication between the two people concerned.

The only point I will make is that I think it is mean spirited for this highly personal problem to have been put into the public arena where all sorts of things are guessed at and discussed. It certainly could never have resolved the situation, and quite possibly, escalated it so high that it could never be resolved.

Best wishes.

You are correct. We don't know anything. I just never get a good vibe off of adults dating teenagers, however technically legally the teenager may be. I have some experience in the matter that obviously colors my judgement, but I feel pretty comfortable in saying that an adult who dates a teenager is generally incapable of mature adult behavior. Which might explain the billboard.

[Hatchett]

Hi Errata,

I think the problem here is that when soiled linen is displayed in public like that it usually results in people taking sides, either for the alleged victim (the proclaimer) or the other side on the recieving end.

Both sides of course are vitually devoid of any relevent information. So it results in heated views, opinions and debates on issues that could or could be not part of the case.

None of us know enough about all of this to make a ballanced decision on what happened and who was to blame for the abortion if there was one, or the preganancy in the first place, or the lack of communication between the two people concerned.

The only point I will make is that I think it is mean spirited for this highly personal problem to have been put into the public arena where all sorts of things are guessed at and discussed. It certainly could never have resolved the situation, and quite possibly, escalated it so high that it could never be resolved.

Best wishes.

[Errata]

Do we even know why he thinks she had an abortion instead of miscarrying? I think if we are brutally honest, most people are not so familiar with the medical practices relating to reproductive health that they are incapable of severely misunderstanding certain procedures or threats.

For example, most people who know what an ectopic pregnancy is do not consider the removal of such as abortion. It is clearly a situation that can only result in the death of the embryo, and the severe harm or death of the mother. However there are people out there who simply do not not believe that. They honestly think that given time the embryo will move to the uterus, or that a doctor can move it, and it simply isn't so.

I mentioned previously that women who miscarry frequently require a D&C to remove the placenta etc. so the the woman does not die of septic shock. It is also not uncommon to try and do a D&C when the fetus is dying, to try and prevent massive blood loss and harm to the uterus that a miscarriage can cause. Clearly that is a more grey area, but despite the leaps and bounds in progress made in fetal surgery, there is little doctors can do to save a dying fetus. I believe that a doctor then has a duty to do everything in his power to save the life and childbearing ability of the mother. Others disagree.

For that matter, are we even sure he is referring to abortion? Is it possible that he thinks that her lifestyle or her environment or even her religious beliefs caused her miscarriage? I mean, does he think that she had a couple of beers and thats why she lost the baby? Or G-d forbid, that she broke up with him flouted god's will that they be together forever, and god in turn punished her by causing her to miscarry?

And what the hell is a 35 year old man doing impregnating a teenager anyway? I mean, in the end not terribly relevant, but I would think that if you were absolutely against abortion, you wouldn't knock up an 18 year old kid. Evidently he says he even refused to marry her after he found out she was pregnant. Which is his right (and probably the right decision), but you're not exactly creating a safe and stable environment where she feels that she can be a mother at such a young age.

Which is rule number one in asserting your rights as a father, by the way. You make sure that a: she knows your wishes and b: that you are absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt going to be a permanent fixture in the child's life, and have the resources to do so. Even if it means being a single father.

Piss poor planning on his part. So really, one of the lessons to be learned here is don't sleep with an immature young kid and expect her to not be scared out of her mind when she get's pregnant, and expect her to choose to completely alter her live and become a loving mother without your absolute guarantee of support. Because when a girl wants to get married when she finds out she's pregnant, she doesn't really want to get married. She's actually terrified of doing it alone.

[Errata]

I understand your position and its been a spirited debate
I guess now we can just agree to disagree
Jordan

I am often afraid I do not make myself understood on such matters. But if you understand my fears on this, then yes. We can agree to disagree.

[ChainzCooper]

Okay. Clearly I am not making myself understood. Let me try it this way.

There are crazy people out there on this issue. Violent crazy people. Like the ones who targeted me. And this is well known. When he put up the billboard about her, he made her a potential target of these people. That may not have been his intent, but he did. And if her real name can be found in a matter of minutes on google, then it does not matter that he did not name her explicitly. And however pissed he may be at her, and however rightfully so, there are reasons that there are such stringent privacy protections for women who get abortions. Because there are people out there more than willing to kill them for having done so. They are also willing to kill people who give abortions, people who assist, people who file documents, people who come in to get birth control, STD testing, yearly exams. They honestly believe that they should kill them all and let god sort them out.

I understand you sympathize with this man. Believe it or not, I do too. While I am absolutely pro-choice, I do believe that barring physical threat, men should have input into reproductive decisions. So I understand that he may be in a lot of pain. But his choice in revenge could put her in danger with the crazy people out there. If he wants to be pissed at her, I fully support him. If he wants to throw himself into anti-abortion protests and politics, I fully support him. If he is interested in something good coming from all this, god bless him in his efforts. This billboard won't heal him. It won't change things. And if a lunatic googles her and hurts her, which is not outside the realm of possibility, then he has some responsibility in that. Were I him, I would want to avoid that possibility.

I understand your position and its been a spirited debate
I guess now we can just agree to disagree
Jordan

[DirectorDave]

]Huh?

Nevermind.

How do you know he was a potential father? It might not have been his child.

I don't......but I can only say I am taking this at face value so many times.

HAHA! Exactly. You want the right not to have things revealed about you in public forums, yet you want to deny that to an innocent woman. Hypocritical, I think they call that.

It would be hypocritical if I took actions to get what you wrote removed, but I didn't.....infact if you actually read what I wrote I said I did not care what a no-mark on a website wrote......so HAHA!

1, what has she done to make her 'bad'? What have I done to make me worse than her imaginary actions which make her bad? LOL! I am worse than a woman who had a miscarriage and is now being bullied by her ex and those who support him? I can live with that.

2. defending innocent people makes me worse than them? Right. Like the logic there.

I never said she was but, but if I can be worse than him for admiring an original and non-violent form of revenge.....I'm sure you can be worse than her.

Do you not comprehend the argument here? WE DONT KNOW. WE dont know if it was a miscarriage, if it was an abortion and if there were medical reasons for it etc. I am not the one here condoning bullying, the publication of gossip and rumour etc. YOU ARE!

Quite right, you are not condoning it you are activly taking part in it......and with all your HAHA's and LOL's you seem to be enjoying it......and the sad part it you don't even realise you are doing it.

[babybird67]

It's not news to me.....one word "may".

Huh?

You can think whatever you want about me, I really don't care, you are a no-mark on a website. We are talking about a pontential fathers child, not some pathetic acusation by someone I have never met.

How do you know he was a potential father? It might not have been his child.

Now who is making assumptions? If I have or have not I certainly would not be revealing it on here.

HAHA! Exactly. You want the right not to have things revealed about you in public forums, yet you want to deny that to an innocent woman. Hypocritical, I think they call that.

And you are worse than her.

1, what has she done to make her 'bad'? What have I done to make me worse than her imaginary actions which make her bad? LOL! I am worse than a woman who had a miscarriage and is now being bullied by her ex and those who support him? I can live with that.

2. defending innocent people makes me worse than them? Right. Like the logic there.

And neither are you privy to it....so stop prentending you are not making assumptions too.

Do you not comprehend the argument here? WE DONT KNOW. WE dont know if it was a miscarriage, if it was an abortion and if there were medical reasons for it etc. I am not the one here condoning bullying, the publication of gossip and rumour etc. YOU ARE!

[DirectorDave]

YOu might have a point the day science makes contraception 100% effective Dave. News for you, it isn't. Even sterilisations fail.

It's not news to me.....one word "may".

My emphasis. WHat he thinks is totally irrelevant because he doesn't know. If i think you're a rapist does that entitle me to put up a billboard saying so merely because i think it???? No, because I have no evidence, and
therefore what I think and what he thinks is totally irrelevant.

You can think whatever you want about me, I really don't care, you are a no-mark on a website. We are talking about a pontential fathers child, not some pathetic acusation by someone I have never met.

You've obviously never been in an abusive relationship.

Now who is making assumptions? If I have or have not I certainly would not be revealing it on here.

You are as bad as him in condoning what he has done in my opinion. YOu have no evidence that this woman had an abortion and yet YOU DONT CARE that she might be in danger over something that might not even be true?

And you are worse than her.

You haven't addressed my other point. EVen if it could be established it was an abortion, you arent privy to the reasons or whether the baby was so badly disabled/dead in the first place etc, so how dare you assume that the woman has not/is not going through enough distress already and condone some ignorant idiot for heaping more such distress upon her.
Like I say, astounding.

And neither are you privy to it....so stop prentending you are not making assumptions too.

[babybird67]

I think you have forgotten 4 & 5

4, How do you know it was even his child, what if she had had an affair or even been raped?

Exactly. How do we know anything? SO what right do ANY of us have to guess at what the truth is, or put someone else in danger with such guesses? By the way, if she was raped or if she did have an affair and he wasn't the actual father, which presumably he doesnt know either, he has even LESS right to poke his nose in to her personal business because he wasn't even a potential father in the first place!

5, How do you know aliens did not remove the foetus for experimentation?

Once again, exactly, how do WE KNOW. We don't. We are ignorant of the truth. Therefore why are you showing support for the ignorant publication of personal information none of us know to be true. Would you like me to put a billboard up speculating about something in your medical history or personal life? Is that right, just and fair?

No, it's not. So why do you support someone else doing it?


This is the equivalent of bullying gossip on facebook. I hate gossips. I hate bullies. I hate injustice. And this story and the support of the guy maligning a woman when he has no clue of the truth has really annoyed me, as I am sure you can tell.

Thanks for the insight into your views on what fatherhood meant to this particular man. But I think I shall make up my own mind on his motives.

I wasn't referring to him in particular, I was referring to a general point of how some ex boyfriends behave, and believe me i have personal experience of it. Also I wasn't talking about fatherhood. I was talking about the way men behave as if they own a woman's body when they aren't even with her!

You have no idea about his motives. Just as I do not. I only know his ACTIONS are wrong, and the ends NEVER justify the means, nor do the intentions justify the actions.

Does the motive of a prostitute murderer, ie to save her soul or rid the world of evil, justify his actions by the way?

[DirectorDave]

1, how do you know it was an abortion?

2, if it was an abortion, why are you assuming that it wasn't for medical reasons and that the mother did not feel as much hurt and distress as the father is feeling.

3, why do you think it is any person's right to publicise someone else's personal intimate experiences to the world, whatever the truth behind the matter?

I think you have forgotten 4 & 5

4, How do you know it was even his child, what if she had had an affair or even been raped?

5, How do you know aliens did not remove the foetus for experimentation?

WHat really annoys me is the territorial macho rubbish of the jilted man who seems to assume he holds some kind of right over his ex girlfriend's body.

Thanks for the insight into your views on what fatherhood meant to this particular man. But I think I shall make up my own mind on his motives.

[babybird67]

Yes she should know.....but perhaps a little more knowledge of her own body might have prevented the need for a abortion in the first place?

(and yes the man should also have been aware but does not detract from the fact that she should have been....IT IS HER BODY AFTERALL)

YOu might have a point the day science makes contraception 100% effective Dave. News for you, it isn't. Even sterilisations fail.

On this? I really don't care to be honest....I'm just taking it at face value (and no I don't do that for everything I read) and the probability that this guy would not have went to this trouble if he had thought it was a miscarriage.

My emphasis. WHat he thinks is totally irrelevant because he doesn't know. If i think you're a rapist does that entitle me to put up a billboard saying so merely because i think it???? No, because I have no evidence, and therefore what I think and what he thinks is totally irrelevant.

You've obviously never been in an abusive relationship. People should not be able to put other people's lives in danger over what they merely believe to be true when they have no facts. You are as bad as him in condoning what he has done in my opinion. YOu have no evidence that this woman had an abortion and yet YOU DONT CARE that she might be in danger over something that might not even be true?

You haven't addressed my other point. EVen if it could be established it was an abortion, you arent privy to the reasons or whether the baby was so badly disabled/dead in the first place etc, so how dare you assume that the woman has not/is not going through enough distress already and condone some ignorant idiot for heaping more such distress upon her.

Like I say, astounding.

[DirectorDave]

IT IS HER BODY AND SHE SHOULD KNOW.

Yes she should know.....but perhaps a little more knowledge of her own body might have prevented the need for a abortion in the first place?

(and yes the man should also have been aware but does not detract from the fact that she should have been....IT IS HER BODY AFTERALL)

WHatever he believes happened is irrelevant.

I don't agree.

The way his claims are being treated as true, without any proof, by some posters here, is disgraceful. Do you believe everything you read in print? LOL!

On this? I really don't care to be honest....I'm just taking it at face value (and no I don't do that for everything I read) and the probability that this guy would not have went to this trouble if he had thought it was a miscarriage.