Females help me out with some advice

[Ally]

Hold your horses, Ally, this is what I actually wrote :

I totally agree that it is a scary thing for a girl to find herself manipulated into being alone with a man (who uses a site devoted to a Serial Killer !) whom she doesn't know. We agree perfectly.

Still, we could put Jordan 'right' in a positive way.

Sure. So why didn't you do that? Every one here was focusing on the hilarity of him asking out a girl via his mother, rather than focusing on the substance: he was attempting to trick a young girl into being alone in a house with him.

No one was being substantive. They were all too busy making ha-ha jokes. Which maybe you view as being "positive", I view it as completely missing the point.

Yes, this is adorable. A first date butterfly situation. And rather than anyone actually giving substantive advice and pointing out the serious flaws in his thinking, everyone's making jokes and laughing.

You think that's positive guidance? Until myself, no one had actually focused on what he was planning to DO, they were completely consumed by the mother aspect.

Jordan is obviously looking to bolster his self confidence. His Post is under 'pub talk', and it's the sort of chatter that one might have in a pub with one's 'friends' -so that's ok. nobody is obliged to reply if they don't want to be helpful to Jordan.

I am being helpful to Jordan. I am attempting to keep him from getting the beat down of his life when this girl's brothers or father find out he tricked their girl into a potentially dangerous and creepy situation. And they live in North Carolina, so I am assuming they've got guns too.

My point about keeping it 'lighthearted' was simply that a potential first date is not a life or death situation,

Yeah except those times when first dates actually are life and death situations. Because you know, no woman has ever been killed by some random stranger she met and went off with.

If he likes this girl, he should respect this girl, and not attempt to manipulate or trick her into a date. I really do not see the appeal in people who think playing with people's emotions and attempting to con them is somehow "romantic".

You want romance? Leave a flower with her tip next time she serves you. Don't even say anything, just leave the flower.

Do something NICE. That's romantic.

[Sister Hyde]

I think Jordan is hosed on this one. What girl is going to want to hang out with some nerdy boy who spends time on a website that is about dead people? Might want to get some doritos and some pepsi and play Dungeons and Dragons. At least there you can be a winner and your character can get the girl. Win-win situation.

Did I just cross a line?

Mike

uh... yes... girls only get a taste for nerds when growing up, once they've experienced the wild guys and just want something stable and peaceful. don't discourage the boy like this, if he falls flat on his face, well, he'll learn something from it

[c.d.]

I think Jordan is hosed on this one. What girl is going to want to hang out with some nerdy boy who spends time on a website that is about dead people? Might want to get some doritos and some pepsi and play Dungeons and Dragons. At least there you can be a winner and your character can get the girl. Win-win situation.

Did I just cross a line?

Mike

Yeah, Michael that was a cheap shot. Jordan came here for help. He has admitted that he is shy. Everybody has things that they need to work on. Let's try to be encouraging. You know, the old golden rule thing.

c.d.

[babybird67]

Hi Jordan,

Try this one. It can't miss. Ask her if she knows the weight of a polar bear. When she says she doesn't know, tell her enough to break the ice. She will laugh and that is your perfect opening to ask her out.

Trust ole c.d. on this one. I know women...ok, well maybe not in the biblical sense but I have heard things.

c.d.

HAha. I loved that c.d. It definitely worked on me. Humour is always a good way to begin.

Jen x

[The Good Michael]

I think Jordan is hosed on this one. What girl is going to want to hang out with some nerdy boy who spends time on a website that is about dead people? Might want to get some doritos and some pepsi and play Dungeons and Dragons. At least there you can be a winner and your character can get the girl. Win-win situation.

Did I just cross a line?

Mike

[Steven Russell]

I'm afraid Ally is right, Jordan, and your plan is not likely to work. Nor should it as it's dishonest.

Don't mess about with daft plots and strategies; just get her talking and if you feel things are going well, bite the bullett and ask her out. The worst thing that can happen is that she says no. If that happens, just say, "OK, just thought I'd ask" and get on with your life. Avoid the restaurant for a week or so and when you do go back, it's possible she may have changed her mind. But she might well say yes!

Your plan on the other hand, apart from having a distasteful tang of sneakiness, could go disastrously wrong with you coming out of it very badly.

Stay cool and good luck, amigo.

Steve.

[Sister Hyde]

Good luck! I'm crossing my fingers. Also holding my thumbs (as the Swedes do).
Love
Carol [/QUOTE]

I didn't know that was the way in goa gammla göteborg, people used to kick my ass as a "good luck" thing!

[Sister Hyde]

Hi Jordan,

Try this one. It can't miss. Ask her if she knows the weight of a polar bear. When she says she doesn't know, tell her enough to break the ice. She will laugh and that is your perfect opening to ask her out.

Trust ole c.d. on this one. I know women...ok, well maybe not in the biblical sense but I have heard things.

c.d.

It's a clumsy joke, but hey, it works!

[c.d.]

Hi Jordan,

Try this one. It can't miss. Ask her if she knows the weight of a polar bear. When she says she doesn't know, tell her enough to break the ice. She will laugh and that is your perfect opening to ask her out.

Trust ole c.d. on this one. I know women...ok, well maybe not in the biblical sense but I have heard things.

c.d.

[Rubyretro]

Hold your horses, Ally, this is what I actually wrote :

Ally -whilst I agree with you about not tricking someone into finding themselves alone in a house with you on a first date -and not involving your mother- still I think that your reply was very brutal.

I totally agree that it is a scary thing for a girl to find herself manipulated into being alone with a man (who uses a site devoted to a Serial Killer !) whom she doesn't know. We agree perfectly.

Still, we could put Jordan 'right' in a positive way.

Jordan is obviously looking to bolster his self confidence. His Post is under 'pub talk', and it's the sort of chatter that one might have in a pub with one's 'friends' -so that's ok. nobody is obliged to reply if they don't want to be helpful to Jordan.

My point about keeping it 'lighthearted' was simply that a potential first date is not a life or death situation, and on a relationship level it can't compare to the sort of problems that one might encounter in an already long term relationship. I think the part of the excitement of first dates is surely the anticipation and the 'unknown' -the 'chase' !

So it's ok to have the fun of a little harmless plotting...the nitty-gritty honesty is for when both parties want to carry the relationship forward to a deeper level, and one naturally drops the 'veils' as things move naturally onwards..

Jordan doesn't have to worry about any of that yet -he only wants to get this girl out on a a first date !!

[Carol]

the fact she already gave you her email is a green light and a good sign that she wants to get to know you better, either as a friend or something more...so take courage and just ask her. Say something along the lines of you enjoy her company and would like to spend some time with her if she would also like that. After she says yes, which I am sure she will, you can both discuss where you would like to go.

Good luck and enjoy.

Jen x

Hi Jordan!
I agree with Jen. Just do as she says. She couldn't take offence and only be flattered (even if she doesn't want to go on a date). But I think she will want to. She wouldn't have given you her Email address otherwise (as Jen has already said).
Good luck! I'm crossing my fingers. Also holding my thumbs (as the Swedes do).
Love
Carol

[The Good Michael]

And if Jordan can't handle the balls out truth, then don't come on a serial killer website to ask for dating advice.

I tried to be a little more subtle than that, but you know what's worse than the immature concept of wingman? Answer: Having mom as your wingman.

Mike

[Ally]

My reply was brutal? How about the brutality to a young girl who finds herself tricked into being locked alone in a house with a guy she has never met before and had no clue what she was walking into?

If Jordan cannot see the sheer dumbassery in a plan like that then there are two things that are very clear: One, he is not looking at this from the young ladies perspective and how SHE will feel about such a scenario at all and his method of dealing with women has some serious flaws in it. Two, SOMEONE needs to point it out before he goes ahead with this stupidity and possibly to get him to start re-examining how he views "females" and his relationships to them, because he's clearly not thinking about this from anything other than the zone of his own comfort and safety and not hers. There is no way I am going to "encourage" that, and damn straight that kind of thinking deserves a knee in the balls.

Yes, I am sure it's all a nice funny joke to everyone, but you seem to be overlooking the fact that there is actually a young woman involved in this as well as Jordan, and her feelings and "butterflies" count just as much especially when this guy's go-to plan is to trick her into being trapped in a house with him.

And if Jordan can't handle the balls out truth, then don't come on a serial killer website to ask for dating advice.

[Rubyretro]

Ally -whilst I agree with you about not tricking someone into finding themselves alone in a house with you on a first date -and not involving your mother- still I think that your reply was very brutal.

It's surely part of the 'fun' of the dating game to have the 'butterflies' in the stomach and the uncertainties and the thinking up of little subterfuges -it's a 'fan dance'.

I don't know your age.?..I would guess that Jordan is a lot younger than either of us. I would just 'out with it', like you -but maybe we'd be missing out on something ?

Afterall, Jordan hasn't even met this girl on a date alone -he's not planning
to spend the rest of his life with her yet (at least I hope to God not).
It's just light hearted.

I think that he's asking for our encouragement -not for us to knee him in the balls.

[The Good Michael]

I think coming on this site and asking for love advice is bug-nuts crazy. Perhaps anyone actually giving advice needs to be checked out as well. How can this world produce so many people without social skills. I mean, does everyone just spend time on the internet chatting and posting to blogs? What a bunch of losers! I'm glad I have a life outside of the internet. I mean, I'm here like what? 6 hours a day. That's not obsessive or anything, I'm sure.

And another thing: What's the best way to get blood stains off a topaz-colored sheet? I've tried everything from borax to urine and nothing's working and my mom will be back from Berlin in 3 days.

Thanks,

Mike