Cricket, lovely cricket

[Adam Went]

G'day Phil,

Well at least, unlike some, you make an attempt at being civilised.

I agree that the Australian attack was wrong for the pitch, it was simply a carry over from Perth of not changing a winning team - Johnson and Siddle have both been hot and cold all series, Hilfenhaus has bowled alright without doing much in the wickets column, Harris is impressive but injured....it's just not been Australia's match. Like Adelaide, if you find yourself several wickets down for not many runs on the first morning, it's an uphill climb from there, especially on wickets like the MCG which flatten out on day 2 and 3....

I'm still hopeful of some sort of a miracle. But if we do go on to lose the match, as I said before, I won't be too disappointed, as it will be ultimately be a positive thing going into the future. There's plenty of very, very talented youngsters playing state cricket - some of them the sons of former Aussie players, like Mitchell Marsh, son of Geoff, and Alastair McDermott, son of Craig, and so on....the present may be bleak but the future is exciting.

As for ABBA, I think "The Winner Takes It All" might be a slightly more fitting song for the moment.....Monty, of course, prefers "Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (A Man After Midnight").

Cheers,
Adam.

[Phil Carter]

Hello Adam,

As Neil says, that little pearl of a greentop wicket was meant for the Oz bowlers that played at Perth... but Perth isn't Melbourne.. and a greentop there has always, from time immomorial meant only one thing... it's a leave it alone wicket.... that is a perfect English batsman and bowler's type of wicket... bread and butter stuff it ius for us. Ian Chappell commentating called it an "old time" Melbourne wicket, one he remembers playing on. And which batsman played the leave it alone ball best, and the Aussie's had real trouble getting him out on them? Geoff Boycott. A man accustomed to patience. A man who took pitch study to the extreme, but it worked (8114 Test runs...a World Record at the time)
We are so accustomed to those pitches over here that batsmen HAVE to learn to not play strokes on them. Learn not to chase the ball. The key, for the batsmen, is getting the feet in position in time to NOT play the ball at all. Otherwise you end up with a bat wafting around in mid air. That's a paradise for a medium fast bowler with a little swing, reverse swing and a bit off the seam. The type of bowler we have had for years in abundance. The Aussies, with exceptions, haven't had them. Perth was suited for swing, especially left arm. But this is Melbourne, and the swirling breeze makes bowling a defined art in control, something Mitchell Johnson hasn't got.

Now as for the rest of this Test Match, I am reminded that the Abba phenomenon that started in Australia many years ago ended up with almost every household being mad about Abba by the time they toured there.

It's about time Bjørn, Benny, Anna and Frida came over, sat the entire cricket squad and selection squad down crossed legged on the stage facing the audience, and sang.. "I have a Dream". Tell you what, we will even supply the candles for them to hold...all together now..

"I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairytale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream"

At the time of writing, Australia are 160 for 6, with Harris' foot in plaster. So perhaps 3 wickets more and the Ashes have walked out the door...
Tim Bresnan is my type of bowler, a type of Mike Hendrick, Chris Old... will keep the pressure on through sheer accuracy and use of the conditions he has.


"If you see the wonder of a fairytale... you can face the future, even if you fail..."

best wishes

Phil

PS Who'd be a turkey at Christmas huh?

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Once again you demonstrate that when you were born, there was no lifeguard on duty at the gene pool.

I enjoy the fact that you insult our people and our cities, while conveniently forgetting – Australia #3, England #18. Not to mention that some of our cities have consistently ranked in the most livable in the world. I know many of your former countrymen who have settled over here, they can’t think it too bad of a place. Just a cheap shot that makes you look like a dimwit. So tell me, how’s the dental care system over there working out for ya? Have you had your annual bath yet?

I need make no further comment than that, the facts speak for themselves.

As for England being the better team, I’d rather sit through a DVD of “England Cricket’s Greatest Moments” whilst simultaneously listening to a Culture Club CD than pay you or your team anything resembling a compliment.

Now, time for us to have another bat! More than 98, please….

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Another battering today Adam,

Sleep well.

Australia is all the same to me. Filthy cities, dull whiney people, speaking of which. Pointing was an absolute disgrace today. An embarassement not only to himself and his nation but to cricket as a whole. You never argue with an Umpire. A great bat but an awful Captain and a Mardy Arse.

Still living on the past huh? That's your future now. The great Aussie side are now of the past. Apart from the odd occasion where we have performed poorly we have, overall, dominated the series. Our players are my far better and more consistant.

As Phil states, the wicket prepped was an English one. We are laughing over here at that, you have no idea how to handle and bowl on a green top. Hell, we are laughing at the ACBs total incompetence as well as their team.

Not one ounce of recognition by you that England are the better team and the better team by some way. To rely on rain before the first day is out is an indication of you desperation.

I told you that if you wanted the urn you had to fight for it. You'd best start, and rapidly.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty & Phil:

Perhaps you missed the part where I said you wouldn’t be raining on my parade. Double time….ooh yes.

Some England supporter you are Monty, don’t even know where your team is playing it!

To both of you, really, I’ve got no intention of wrapping my team in cotton wool – they have been thoroughly crap thus far in the match. They watched the UN take 10 wickets by pitching the ball up, and then proceeded to bowl half-trackers and have two men in the deep on the leg-side. Not even I can explain that one.

It’s all about defensive bowling now. Seven men on the off side and bowl wide if you have to, just got to keep the UN to 2 or 3 an over, force some mistakes, and hang on in there…..i’m still confident that we can salvage a draw.

You UN fans have very short memories – mocking us for being bowled out for 98, wasn’t long ago that you lot were bowled out for 51, was it? Yes, I remember….

The beauty of this series is that Australia cannot lose, we’re in a win-win position. Because if we manage to win the series, brilliant, we regain the Ashes – if we draw or lose the series, then it will be the catalyst for sweeping changes to the Aussie team, management and structure that are long, long overdue, which we will be much better for in the long run…..so either way, it’s not the doom and gloom that you lot would like to think it is.

Natalie:

Who’s arguing?

Cheers,
Adam.

[Natalie Severn]

Australia collapsed on the first day of the fourth test.Why argue?

[Phil Carter]

Hello Adam.

Australia....... 98 for 10 wickets

England........157 for 0 wickets

STUMPS

Says it all. Perfect day for England, disaster for Australia. Line and length on or just outside the off stump, followed by batting that knew the terms "leave alone" and "wait for the bad ball".
The English bowlers are brought up on bowling on that sort of wicket.. slightly green and using the cloud cover. English batsman from time immomorial have erred on the cautious side, and have been pilloried for it too.. but on THAT pitch, the bowlers were perfect, the English opening batsmen were perfect, almost tailor-for English cricketers.

The groundsman should never have switched that strip 2 weeks ago.. because this pitch is going to be dead the longer it plays now.. the window of momentum Oz had has now gone for good in this match. The only question is whether England can bowl Oz out a 2nd time.. and judging from the "we will chase the ball" attitude of the batsmen, the problem won't even arise.
In 72 hours time, the Ashes may well be safe from Oz grasp.

A couple of records to keep an eye on... Hobbs and Rhodes v Oz opening partnership record (was it 323?) and the World Record opening Test Match partnership score of 421 ? (I think, without looking them both up) are up for grabs here. Strauss and Cook need to bat tomorrow and to get the first record need another 170 runs... for the 2nd record...270 runs to do that one. Given the pitch, given the batting, given the bowling... neither record is impossible.

Merry Christmas... it's a cracker! Go on, pulll the other one and see what happens! Hahahaha!

Oh... and all 10 wickets caught behind the wicket? Memories of Bob Massie at Lords 1972... ahhh, revenge sometimes takes time... but it is oh so very sweet.

Phil

PS. Neil..it's Melbourne, not Sydney... not that it matters old mate... its a seige in that street anyway!..hahaha

[Monty]

Australia 1st Innings - All out
*
Watson c Pietersen b Tremlett 5
Hughes c Pietersen b Bresnan 16
Ponting c Swann b Tremlett 10
Clarke c Prior b Anderson 20
Hussey c Prior b Anderson 8
Smith c Prior b Anderson 6
Haddin c Strauss b Bresnan 5
Johnson c Prior b Anderson 0
Harris not out. 10
Siddle c Prior b Tremlett 1
Hilfenhaus c Prior b Tremlett 0

Extras
*
5nb 2lb7
*
Total
*
all out 98

England 157 without loss.

The scorecard says it all. No need for me to eplain the fact that 98 all out is dire. Worst Aussie innings at Sydney since 1870s.

You mouthed off about Aussie dominance, oh my, you look stupid again. Your team were slaughted today. All you bats back in the hutch, shivering with trauma and fear, by the afternoon. Then the English bats destroy your bowling, where's your Johnson now?

Your team was taught a lesson today by the big boys. You're right, long way to go, and it will be interesting to see how you get yourselves out of this woeful mess you are in. Now even in your deluded world todays play went Englands way. No dodgy descisions, pure English dominance.

Sales day today. 10 Aussie wickets, only cost 98 runs.

Monty

*

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Sorry to disappoint you, but you won't be raining on my parade that easily - because Christmas and Boxing Day fell on a weekend this year, the public holidays carry over to the weekdays, so i'll be on double time at work for the next two days....ask me again on about Wednesday or Thursday and you might get a slightly more frank assessment of things.

A triple ton from Ricky in the second innings, plus the rain that is forecast, will see us to safety.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Adam, oh Adam.

Australian 98 all out eh? Here, take the kleenex mate....you need it.

You must realise by now that you talk crap, surely you are that self aware.

The smile is wry, yet the enthusiasm is contained. Long way to go but my son, you are being taught a bitter lesson.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Getting the g-banger in a bit of a twist, are we?
Box of Kleenex for Monty, someone?
Don't worry, old friend - take a look at this video clip, it might cheer you up a bit. Just a reminder that everybody hurts, sometimes....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7g5YKEEPoI

Not long to go now....time to open another can of whoop ass....

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Do you cut n paste your jibes Adam? Cos its the same crap day in day out.

You really are desperate aren't you?

We have the firepower and experience. You chat son....its all you have.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

I don’t understand how you think calling him Pointing is offensive? It’s about as inoffensive as calling us convicts. Surely somebody from the land of Shakespeare and Dickens could do better than that?

Can’t admit to being a huge fan of Take That, though I’m told that you have been known to sit alone weeping at night while singing “I Want You Back” to a photo of the Ashes urn…..

And if we run by the theory that the urn should go to the home country of the players that won it, if “England” win it, should it not be sent to, say, Johannesburg?

Union? Sorry, I should have specified – sports that anybody actually gives a damn about.

“90,000 fat sweaty Aussies”

Just your type, eh? ;-)

NTS:

You’ve said it perfectly. We’re just better in every way!

Cheers,
Adam.

[Nothing to see]

Today while it lasts is Xmas Eve. Saturday. Then bring it on.

Australia will dominate. We are just better.

But, please, do us a favour. Lock Warnie and Liz together somewhere so we can concentrate on what's important.

[Monty]

Ha,

So predictable. As is your new found over confidence.

Ponting wasn't out, hence the "tantrum" as you call it was fine....shades of Michael Kasprowicz circa 2005 which cost us the series

Go look in the book me duck, you'll see the word 'OUT' next to Pointings name. End of debate.

You see, you're trying hard to please the masses - it bothers me not in the slighest whether I look foolish or not...

This is obvious.

....so long as the urn comes back to where it belongs

You want England to win? Hmm, you are a confused fellow. Boys or girls? JLS or Take That?....ahh, the ups and downs of puberty eh?

I'm certainly winning the banter war in any case, and have plenty more gems up the sleeve yet!

Yes Poppet, you certainly are. Well done you. And you have more gems huh? All of them stolen from your Master.......me.

Oh, wait, this one below is another Wenty 'Gem'.

And now, back to bask in the glory of sweet, sweet victory whilst you Poms wallow in your inferiority in all sports against us....

All sports huh?

Note this....our last Union battle.

Saturday, 13 November 2010

England 35 - 18

Full of those gems aintcha?

As for the UN, for what it's worth....drop Collingwood, replace him with Tim Bresnan, bring Ian Bell up the order to 4, drop Pietersen down to 5 and bring Prior up to 6 with Bresnan at 7....more variety with the bowling attack then too. Like my thinking on this occasion, Monty?

Wow, selection expert huh?

Heres mine.

Drop Pointing, Clarke, Hughes and replace them with Rolf Harris, Dame Eda and Paul Hogan. They'd give us more trouble. By the way, if you swapped Siddle with a chimp we would never know, apart from the fact a chimp would be able to catch.

I cant wait for Boxing Day. 90,000 fat sweaty Aussies screaming at us....oooh, you hate us dont you.

And you hate us cos you fear us.

Its understandable Aussie boy. Even I fear us.

Monty