Cricket, lovely cricket

[Steven Russell]

Good man.

Best,
Steve.

[Monty]

Im tired Steven,

Up all night partying.

Monty

[Steven Russell]

100% correct, Monty. Spelling excepted of course.

[Monty]

Utter silence mate?

Nah, weve all f*cked of back to Blighty, with OUR urn, to celerbrate a resounding stuffing of the Aussies in the Ashes. You can have the ODIs, it means jack all.

Surely the fact I didnt appear here to rub yer snout into it after we beat you the other day indicates I really hold not importance to this series. Even Warney is bored of it. Dont let it paper over your cracks.

Of course, youre gonna grasp for hope, anything to restore pride, and have chosen an half arsed OD series where the majority of our bowling attack are home 'injured' (yeah, right, believe that one Swanny. Put yer feet up lads and save yerselves for the real games), to do that.

You and I both know the real prize in this tour.

AND ITS OURS ha ha ha haaaaaa.

Monty

[Adam Went]

The utter silence from the plainly bewildered and embarrassed UN supporters aside, a fantastic ODI series victory for the Aussies, and fitting that it should happen at the GABBA. We've not played at our best by any stretch and yet we're still holding a 4-1 advantage. Good form heading into the World Cup.

I wonder if Monty and Co. will be brave enough to show their faces yet?

Cheers,
Adam.

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Nonsense! I distinctly remember you being one of those who praised "A Matter Of Time".... in fact, let me quote you from the Ripperologist #113 thread:

"With these lastest editions of Rip and Examiner, the powers that be are spoiling us.

Really enjoyed Adam and Lauras pieces. Good to see fairly new blood return."

On the other hand, I am genuinely struggling to think of any of the articles you've written. There was this one about a cop or something, wasn't there?

I see you dodge the Matt Prior question. Are you really that ashamed of him? Back your players, man! So you kept telling me. Steven Davies deserves to be pretty damn pissed off....

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Alzheimers must be a global epidemic, cos no one remembers your first 2 either...or 3 or 4.

I won't list mine, besides size doesn't matter, its quality....oop won't mention my nominations either.

Yeah, you hold on the the ODIs, they are far more important than the Ashes. Sure it is poppet.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Yep, four. Though you may not remember the first two as they are from some time ago and at your age, I understand that alzheimers does begin to take its toll.

So that's 4 wins in a row for us now, eh?
How's Matt Prior going? Can't handle the fearsome bowling of Brett Lee, evidently.

Looks like a clean sweep of the ODI series coming up!

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

4 huh? Wow.

"I guess you wouldn't actually, if you team had been humiliatingly beaten by several of the minnows in the past.... "

Collaboration? With your spelling? Its 'your' team, tsk, tsk. Come back to me when you can spell.

Yes, tis embarrassing getting beat by minnows, such as Australia. However the undoubted humiliation, the crushing innings defeats we executed upon them, the keeping of OUR urn more than makes up for it.

You know the real throphy sunshine, anything else isn't, well, Australian.

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

What's Hovis?

Kontent fecking awesome which is why they keep asking me back. How many you done now? 1? 2?.

Four, actually. With the fifth one, "Cousin Lionel: The Life and Career of Lionel Druitt" coming out in the Examiner next issue. Check it out. (How's that for a seamless plug?) And i've just been asked, and agreed, to write another. Hey Monty, maybe we should collaborate on something, eh? I'll teach you a thing or two.

Oh, and the cricket. You stick with the kiddy game, leave the real mens test stuff to the big boys. And by the way, I found our urn. We had it all along, since 2009 apparently. I shoulda known.

So are you saying you don't care about the World Cup either?
I guess you wouldn't actually, if you team had been humiliatingly beaten by several of the minnows in the past....

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Oop, everything has gone wavy, is Adam having one of his flashbacks to the past?

Like a feckin Hovis advert.

I know, spelling awfyl. Kontent fecking awesome which is why they keep asking me back. How many you done now? 1? 2?. Then you throw in the 2 books, podcast, radio and TV documentary I've done its a wonder isn't it. Must be my good looks and talent, but not my grammar and spelling. Hey that's not my job though. I just produce awesome articles.

Oh, and the cricket. You stick with the kiddy game, leave the real mens test stuff to the big boys. And by the way, I found our urn. We had it all along, since 2009 apparently. I shoulda known.

Mwah x

Monty

[Adam Went]

Monty:

Let me just quantify this whole Ashes urn thing for ya. When we regained them under the brilliant captaincy of Allan Border in 1989, I was just about to be born. By the time we next lost an Ashes series in 2005 I was just about to finish my last year of high school. That's how long it was. And you're waffling on about having them for the last two years? Sad.

You were quick to point out the UN victory in the first T20 match - surely you don't think T20 is more important than ODI? If you do, you are what the Romans would have called "douchimus maximus".

"Fascade" - facade, perhaps? Honestly, when you send an article in to one of the Rip periodicals, the editors must sit down and have a little cry....

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Yeah, one dayers, we were awful blah bah blah, yeah we give a **** all right.....

....You sure you haven't seen our urn Wenty?

What am I saying, you aint see it these past 3 years.

Monty....who admires Adams fascade that one dayers really matter, let him be. He ain doing any harm.

[Adam Went]

*Yawn*....it's all getting a bit monotonous now.....another Aussie ton, another victory, another UN humiliation, another duck from Traitorsen.

Don't even pretend you're not concerned about this Monty, the Ashes are what's in the past now, but the World Cup is just around the corner, and your team is, for want of a better expression, shithouse.

Now, off to bask in the glory once more....

Cheers,
Adam.

[Monty]

Now where is that Urn, its around here somewhere....always is.

Oh, I'm sorry Adam, I tuned out. Missed the drivel you were spewing. Something about the past, a game that doesn't matter and Sherlock Holmes...no, Dr Watson....SHANE WATSON, that's it, you were on about SHANE WATSON....who finally hits a ton when it way too late.

Monty


PS have you seen our urn?