"Prey Time"

[Bridewell]

Prey Time by T. Marriott
pg 132...

'Rabbi Cohen turns to the group and tells them, "I am going to
pray for you all, and remind you of the words spoken by our
saviour Jesus on the cross. Father forgive them for they know not
what they do. " With that he leaves the room and the shop.'

Oh my, Trevor.

A Christian rabbi? Not too many of them around.

[caz]

Clever Trevor fancies that Mike Barrett made many thousands of pounds out of conjuring up a 'novel' take on James Maybrick's life during the Whitechapel Murders. There is no sign of a dictionary being consulted in the process.

Is this why Trev fondly imagines that he can get away with much the same, without even the safety net of a spellchecker? Or does he think his intended market won't notice or care as long as they can read the word 'fog' and he can spell it?

Love,

Caz
X

[caz]

By your sarcastic posts, it would seem that grocery lists are all you are capable of writing and to be fair I don't give a toss what anyone thinks of my work I am happy with the project.

www.trevormarriott.co.uk

Hi Trev,

I thought you were looking for someone to give enough of a toss to take on your work and turn it into something with commercial value.

Love,

Caz
X

[caz]

Prey Time by T. Marriott
pg 132...

'Rabbi Cohen turns to the group and tells them, "I am going to
pray for you all, and remind you of the words spoken by our
saviour Jesus on the cross. Father forgive them for they know not
what they do. " With that he leaves the room and the shop.'

Oh my, Trevor.

Noooooo. That's even worse than when Mike "Bongo" Barrett tried to write a novel connecting the murder of Mary Kelly on 9th November 1888 with the events of 9/11 2001, thinking the date was the same.

If Trev wanted to pay a proofreader for basic spelling, grammar and punctuation, to up his credibility a wee bit, I could make myself and my little red pen available for the right price. A lottery win might cover it.

Love,

Caz
X

[Ms Diddles]

Sorry Trevor,

My copy has just arrived and is in my "to read" pile.

The very first thing I saw on receiving the book was the blurb on the cover.

"As nightime falls in Whitechapel. A fearsome killer silently stalks his unsuspecting prey".

a) surely it's night time or even nighttime?

b) what on earth is that full stop / capital A doing in the middle of the sentence? Should have been a comma / lower case a.

Sorry to be a smart-arse, but you may want to sort that before the next print run.

[Fiver]

Okay, I've read Trevor's book.

You have our condolences.

Trevor, first of all, like I said before this isn't a novel. It's a reformatted script.
It's not just that though. It's also a first or maybe second draft.

Shouldn't using a spellchecker be part of a first draft?

[Fiver]

The book as stated is part fact and part fiction, something you cant seem to comprehend but seem to be only too quick to criticise before you have fully understood the concept and storyline and I would guess you haven't even read the book

If the first bite of the apple is rotten, then why would anyone keep eating?

[Cody75111]

Okay, I've read Trevor's book.

Trevor, first of all, like I said before this isn't a novel. It's a reformatted script.
It's not just that though. It's also a first or maybe second draft. If this isn't the case
it doesn't matter because that's how it reads. (I know you say you wrote the book before the script but that's just insane. Why would you choose to write a novel in that style?! And that means you adapted your script into another script. it's bonkers)

And because it's an early draft, it's not very good.
But that's okay because nearly all first drafts of scripts aren't very good.
What you probably should have done Trevor is put the script away for a few weeks, forget about it, then come back, read it and write it again. And then write it again. And again.

Writing is re-writing.

What you probably shouldn't have done is reformat this script, pretend it's a novel and then try and flog it.
This book is nowhere close to being to a professional standard. You could really do with hiring an editor if you have any hope of selling it. In fact it's essential.

I'm trying to be constructive with my criticism but also i think it's important for casebook members to know what they're in for if they're thinking of buying your book/script hybrid.

I won't go into the actual plot but it needs a LOT of work, Trevor.
I really hope you can find an editor.

Cheers

[Herlock Sholmes]

UK posters might remember the Morecambe and Wise sketches about Ernie Wise’s plays. It was called something like “the plays wot I wrote.” I can’t think why that came to mind?

[Abby Normal]

Trevor
You should write an autobiography! And someone will buy the rights and make a movie or TV series about you!! I can see it now..Trevor Marriott: Murder Squad Detective!! Now THAT would be awesome !

[Ally]

Oh and one more thing, just to FURTHER dispel the myth of Moderator Bias as leveled by "the Great Detective", even against my own good self.... Because NO ONE EVER READS the effing Rules, from Major Rules, Personal Attacks Policy:

Comments on published works will generally not be considered libelous or fall under the personal attack policy (even though some Authors/Creators post here) unless they are completely off the wall or not based on evidence. If there is evidence that an author deliberately left out information, failed to do research, plagiarized, fabricated evidence, whatever, then people's honest opinions -of the work and the author - will not be considered libelous/attacking.


I follow the rules. (Well no, I don't but I was in this instance.)

[Single-O-Seven]

Pluto?

JM

Pluto is no longer a planet. Maybe you held power there until it was demoted? And I'm sure there's a lovely Uranus joke to be made here.

[jmenges]

On what planet do you think that Menges has the power or authority to ban me?

Pluto?

JM

[Ally]

Trevor, please tell me you can see what's very,very, almost offensively wrong with the paragraph I highlighted.

He really, really doesn't.

[Ally]

Thank you for those comments which just shows to people just what an evil tongued person you are and for those remarks you should be banned but you won't be because Menges wont ban you.

On what planet do you think that Menges has the power or authority to ban me? You realize that I own this website right? You are a GREAT detective, truly. We all applaud.

And trust me when I say THOSE comments aren't what has showed people what an "evil-tongued" (please by all that's holy, learn what a hyphen is if you're going to play at writing) person I am. I've said far worse, to far better than you.

I don't even want to engage with you further its coming up to Halloween so you are in the right place to portray the wicked Witch of the West

Was this supposed to be an insult? Like... thank you? I appreciate the compliment, even from you.