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Jack the Ripper Tour

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  • #16
    Originally posted by babybird67 View Post
    I bet you have lots more anecdotes like that!
    Here's some grown-up ones.

    Give the lady a broad Lancashire accent for best effect.

    Lady: 'Ere, John, wasn't he supposed to be the Prince of Wales or summat?
    Me: Ah, you're talking about the 'Royal Conspiracy'. It's popular, but it's a story that has been completely disproved. There's no evidence that it is true at all.
    Lady: Warrever, I still think it's 'im.


    Man: 'Ere, mate, do you know where Jack the Ripper's buried?
    Me: Well, no.
    Man: We do (his companions nod eagerly).
    Me: Where's that then?
    Man: Thorpe-le-Soken! That's where we're from.
    Me: William Gull?
    Man: That's the man. Jack the Ripper!

    (At this point I take it no further. Then happily trash the Royal Theory later in the tour).


    This may all seem daft, but the commonest question I have to answer is 'why did he stop?' A good question, thankfully.


    • #17
      Great stuff, John. Just as with babybird, those anecdotes made me smile, too
      Kind regards, Sam Flynn

      "Suche Nullen" (Nietzsche, Götzendämmerung, 1888)


      • #18

        John....the "warrever" clinched that as my favourite so far!

        I must start having dinner parties so that i can ask you sound like an ideal guest!

        How often do you do the Tour? Next time i am in the area i must come and do a Tour...i shall try not to ask any silly questions!

        There is only one happiness in life—to love and be loved.

        George Sand


        • #19
          John - with complete empathy, I'm sure you can concur there's nowt funny for me in there. Just a stream of irritants. And we're gonna have them forever. I read through the list with a sinking heart, knowing all of them all too well with small alterations here and there.

          I've still got the best one, though - with that American tourist who asked if the people who lived in London weren't pissed off when Charles Booth came round and painted the fronts of all their houses in different colours. I never fail to get amused by that one.

          How many of the kids are currently asking you if it was a woman, by the way?

          Tour guides do it loudly in front of a crowd.


          • #20
            Originally posted by George Hutchinson View Post

            How many of the kids are currently asking you if it was a woman, by the way?

            A lot. Although they rarely say "could the murderer have been a woman?"

            They usually ask in a rather more confrontory manner "what makes you think he was a man?" as if I had personally come up with the idea. To that I always say "indeed - the idea that the Ripper was woman was quite popular between the two world wars - the Jill the Ripper theory, they call it".

            Then they shut up.


            • #21
              He he! Nice one Jon. Damn those peskie kids!
              I bet they get all excited,bless em.
              God, but I can well understand Phils comments.Imagine years, n years of the same questions! You must have a lot of patience. Like me


              • #22
                A couple of oddities from last night's tour:

                Lady (who said she'd read Prince Jack): Do we see the corpses?


                Lady: 'scuse me, can I ask you - does anybody jump out at us on the tour?
                Me: Oh no.
                Lady (very worried): It's just that I've got an 'eart murmur and I don't want to get a shock and fall down dead in the street.

                (she left the tour about half way through)

                Me: If Albert Cadosch had been a little more curious and looked over the fence, which was only about 5 feet 6 high, he probably would have seen Annie Chapman with her killer...
                Man: How tall was he?
                Me: Sorry?
                Man: How tall was the bloke?
                Me: No idea.
                Man: If he was only five foot tall he might have had a bit of trouble, you know, looking over.


                • #23
                  Thankfully, I get very little in the way of interruptions when giving tours - I don't give 'em a chance to butt in! I did have a guy tonight ask me right at the start about Patty. He was very open about it; he said he loved her books but wanted to know what we thought of her Ripper ideas. I told him that it was generally seen as one of the most laughable and reviled books on the subject to ever come out and, bless him, he was fine with that!

                  Tour guides do it loudly in front of a crowd.


                  • #24
                    Hey Philip, hard to believe in just a couple of months it'll be a year since I went on your tour. As I recall the crowd had several questions but you did a great job of making jokes out of them. One that springs to mind is the guy who, just as you were about to pull out the MJK photo, asked you if it was in color. As the rest of us laughed, you rolled your eyes and said, "Earth is full, go home!" Keep it up.


                    • #25
                      No comedy titbits to report for some time now.

                      Apart from a group of 14 drunk people on one tour (they almost ruined it and it wasn't funny, believe me), everybody has been rather sensible for the last couple of months - even the school groups who are now back after the summer hols.

                      Anyway, has anybody got a copy of this? I've seen it around for ages and at £1.99, I thought I'd finally give it a go.
                      Click image for larger version

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ID:	657660

                      It's a shocker, by the way.


                      • #26
                        Here are some examples of the material within:

                        On the map we have 'Winthorpe Ct' (Winthrop St; ahem), 'Gourston Street' and Duves Pl (Dukes Place).

                        "Nobody knew the identity of the killer, so the police named him 'Jack the Ripper'"

                        "Catherine was a 46-year old street prostitute. She was born in Wolverhampton in 1848..." Do the maths..

                        "The Hoop and Grapes pub was one of the few to survive the Great Fire of London in 1666." Of course it did - the fire didn't reach that far.

                        [Martha] "Turner's murder happened on 6th August 1888, several months before the first official Ripper murder" It says she was stabbed 39 times and her internal organs were "removed and displaced".

                        It uses the name 'George's Yard' and 'George's Yard Buildings' are still there (the 1886 building behind the 'White Hart', it means).

                        Mary Kelly's murder site is now White's Row and her body was discovered by "a young boy trying to get some rent". Both her hands were tucked up inside her stomach and the old intestines/'christmas decorations' lark gets an airing.

                        The Providence Row Night Refuge in Crispin St. is 17th century. Annie Chapman stayed there the night before her murder.

                        There's more, but enough's enough.


                        • #27
                          I have it, paid about £1.00 a year or two ago via Amazon. Very cheap and nasty piece of work!
                          Regards Mike


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by John Bennett View Post
                            It uses the name 'George's Yard' and 'George's Yard Buildings' …
                            As most of us opt for the obnoxiously colloquial "St. George's in the East"; … why not 'George's Yard' and 'George's Yard Buildings'?


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Septic Blue View Post
                              As most of us opt for the obnoxiously colloquial "St. George's in the East"; … why not 'George's Yard' and 'George's Yard Buildings'?
                              Colloquial perhaps, but I wouldn't go as far as 'obnoxious'! :-)

                              Watch out for George's Hutchinson too!
                              Last edited by John Bennett; 09-22-2009, 06:46 PM.


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by John Bennett View Post
                                Colloquial perhaps, ...
                                Colloquial; through-and-through!

                                Originally posted by John Bennett View Post
                                ... but I wouldn't go as far as 'obnoxious'! :-)
                                That's because you are accustomed to it!

                                Is 'George's Yard' obnoxious? You saw fit to bring it to our attention - for good reason, I might add!

                                At least in that instance, the possesive case refers to something that is tangible: A 'Yard'.

                                But in the instance of "St. George's in the East", it does not!

                                "St. George's (What?) in the East"