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What makes Patricia Cornwall so special?!?! How come SHE gets all the limelight?!?!

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  • What makes Patricia Cornwall so special?!?! How come SHE gets all the limelight?!?!

    That's it! Now I will write a glossy "tell all book" about the Ripper! Let me pick out a "glamourous" suspect... Oh... I don't know... I got it! Lewis Carroll!!!! Right. So, he did it. And as proof, I will burn the original manuscript of Through the Looking Glass. That will bring me SOOOO much publicity and people will SOOOO see that I am right here!

    Come on, people, help me out! How can I make my Ripper book more "glamourous..." I mean, is there a way to shove Mr. Carroll into the whole "Royal Conspiracy" story?
    What's all this then?

  • #2
    Originally posted by emlodik View Post
    Come on, people, help me out! How can I make my Ripper book more "glamourous..." I mean, is there a way to shove Mr. Carroll into the whole "Royal Conspiracy" story?
    Weeellll... You could claim that he was photographing prepubescent female members of the Royal family, and overheard something he shouldn't have. If I recall correctly, in later life, Lewis Carroll destroyed most of his photographs, and if that bears up, you can always smugly wave that one in the face of anyone who claims you're wrong. Of course you can't produce the photographs of little Princess CindyLou Whosit -- Carroll considerately destroyed your evidence! (Then work in a diary someplace, and Bob's your auntie's live-in lover.)



    Almost any Ripper book I come across, no matter how good or bad, seems to follow me home. I have one that's so bad I've never managed to finish reading it, but it's irritated me so much that when I've tried, I've thrown it at the wall in disgust. The pages are falling out. (At the other end of the spectrum, you find my copy of Rumbelow, which also had pages coming out and had to be rebound -- I had carried it around and loved it literally to pieces. Hmm. Maybe that's actually what happened to Mary Kelly... )

    I enjoyed PC's book the first time through. The second read-through, I started to notice things weren't quite right. And then I found out about Casebook existing, came here, read about her book, and it somehow managed to end up on the "fiction" end of my JTR shelf. I still maintain that it walked down there under its own power.

    Personally, for wild speculation, I prefer film to books -- I'm certain that Amazon Women On The Moon got it right when it accused the Loch Ness Monster.
    ~ Khanada

    I laugh in the face of danger. Then I run and hide until it goes away.

    Comment


    • #3
      You're too late. There's already been a book proposing Carroll as the Ripper.

      You'll have to find someone else.
      “Sans arme, sans violence et sans haine”

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Magpie View Post
        You're too late. There's already been a book proposing Carroll as the Ripper.

        You'll have to find someone else.
        No, no! Magpie, my love, I know perfectly well that Carroll was considered a suspect in some books, just like Sickert was. HOWEVER, just like Cornwall, I plan on making a mint by blowing his contendency out of proportion with various crackpot theories. For example, take this gem I developed:

        If one looks at the way the letters are spaced out in the third paragraph of the tenth chapter of Alice in Wonderland, one can easily tell thart Lewis Carroll hated prostitutes' genitalia and was out to mutilate it!

        See? It will be bloody brilliant! Eat your heart out, Miss Cornwall!!!
        What's all this then?

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Khanada View Post
          Weeellll... You could claim that he was photographing prepubescent female members of the Royal family, and overheard something he shouldn't have. If I recall correctly, in later life, Lewis Carroll destroyed most of his photographs, and if that bears up, you can always smugly wave that one in the face of anyone who claims you're wrong. Of course you can't produce the photographs of little Princess CindyLou Whosit -- Carroll considerately destroyed your evidence! (Then work in a diary someplace, and Bob's your auntie's live-in lover.)



          Almost any Ripper book I come across, no matter how good or bad, seems to follow me home. I have one that's so bad I've never managed to finish reading it, but it's irritated me so much that when I've tried, I've thrown it at the wall in disgust. The pages are falling out. (At the other end of the spectrum, you find my copy of Rumbelow, which also had pages coming out and had to be rebound -- I had carried it around and loved it literally to pieces. Hmm. Maybe that's actually what happened to Mary Kelly... )

          I enjoyed PC's book the first time through. The second read-through, I started to notice things weren't quite right. And then I found out about Casebook existing, came here, read about her book, and it somehow managed to end up on the "fiction" end of my JTR shelf. I still maintain that it walked down there under its own power.

          Personally, for wild speculation, I prefer film to books -- I'm certain that Amazon Women On The Moon got it right when it accused the Loch Ness Monster.
          LOL!!! You stole my bit, I'm the one who usually cracks the Loch Ness Monster joke! Though, you must admit, it's far more plausible than the Royal Conspiracy.

          Anyway... Back to my "shocking tell all" (TM) Ripper book!

          Great ideas, Khanada! But we must also find a way to cram in Anne Crooke and Prince Albert. Is there a way we can combine the "Prince Albert was the Ripper" story with "Mary Kelly and the gang new about his illegitimate daughter" theory? And, of course, we must still have a way to shove Lewis Carroll into this. How about he PAYED Joe Barnett to off Mary Kelly? That makes sense...

          Perhaps Mary Kelly was blackmailing Carroll about taking saucy pictures of little girls? (Including the illegitimate Princess Alice, which means he knew about Anne Crook, who was pimping her own daughter, which enraged Prince Albert, who payed Carroll who payed Barnett to kill Mary Kelly because she was corrupting Anne Crooke's relationship with her daughter.) Which means, of course, that Sir Gull killed the other women to create the "Jack the Ripper" cover-up, which paved the way for Barnett, Carroll and Prince Albert Victor to kill Mary Kelly... But, is there a way to add Mary Kelly's supposed lesbian tendencies to this? I KNOW!!! She and Anne Crooke were crack addicted lovers, who were supporting their habit by pimping little Alice to Lewis Carroll.

          There, that's it, case solved! Someone get me a publishing deal! This theory is FOOL PROOF!!!!
          Last edited by emlodik; 08-12-2008, 06:21 PM.
          What's all this then?

          Comment


          • #6
            Cornwell gets the limelight because limelight is expensive and she's rich. Whether her theory makes sense or not isn't even related. She could have named any of the other suspects and still would have gotten the same news coverage, because attention at that level is all about who you buy and not what you know.

            Dan Norder
            Ripper Notes: The International Journal for Ripper Studies
            Web site: www.RipperNotes.com - Email: dannorder@gmail.com

            Comment


            • #7
              I must agree with Dan on this one; CornwEll's notoriety comes from all her cash. In case no one has noticed, her fiction has become repetitive and a real rip-off...she spends PAGES on describing a motel room as if that were crucial to the story, when she could have said the room resembled every cheap motel on any highway in the world, and we all would have gotten it. Nope, she's padding a LOT these days, as no one buys her "sexy medical examiner as constantly chased by serial killers" premise any more.

              Emlodik and Magpie........I have the theory that puts all others in the shade, and I pass it on to you to find a publisher! JtR was actually Sooty in a Howdy Doody suit. He was so short no one noticed him, and Bob's your uncle! Neat and tidy, easy and simple. AND PERFECTLY LOGICAL. THAT''S the answer so please run with it........

              OR, if you prefer, it was Queen Victoria in lifts and a false mustache....take your pick. You're welcome to either theory. I like the Sooty/Doody theory, myself, but that's a preference based on the fact that George Bush IS Doody (somewhat older). AND if anyone questions THAT, just take a look at those damned eyebrows of his..........resemble any marionette we might know??

              Now that Tuesday has become "Be Ridiculous" day, have a ball!

              Cheers,

              Judy

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by needler View Post
                I must agree with Dan on this one;

                Judy
                So what is this frontal lobotomy week?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Pirate Jack View Post
                  So what is this frontal lobotomy week?
                  I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
                  allisvanityandvexationofspirit

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Stephen Thomas View Post
                    I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
                    Preferably a Merlot!..cheers

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by needler View Post
                      Emlodik and Magpie........I have the theory that puts all others in the shade, and I pass it on to you to find a publisher! JtR was actually Sooty in a Howdy Doody suit. He was so short no one noticed him, and Bob's your uncle! Neat and tidy, easy and simple. AND PERFECTLY LOGICAL. THAT''S the answer so please run with it........
                      I hate to break it to you, but the "Sooty was the Ripper" theory was discussed on the very first incarnation of casebook, many, many moons ago.

                      My conclusion at the time was that even if Sooty did the actually killing, there were stronger, shadowy figures in the background directing his actions.

                      In the Ripper conspiracy, Sooty was just a puppet....
                      “Sans arme, sans violence et sans haine”

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        This thread makes the point for me about some perfectly literate and aware people being pathologically incapable of spelling this woman's name right.

                        Pasties come from Cornwall; Patsy's name is Cornwell. How hard can it be?

                        Pasties = Cornwall

                        Patsy = Cornwell

                        I'm sure this is the blind spot our graffiti artist was suffering from when he was mentally putting 'Juwes' up against the wall and shooting them for being Jews.

                        The difference is that the Jews didn't deserve rough treatment, whereas Cornwell asks for it. After all, I seem to recall she misspelled a victim's name. There can be no excuse for that.

                        Love,

                        Caz
                        X
                        "Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." Peter Ustinov


                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Spelling

                          Originally posted by caz View Post
                          The difference is that the Jews didn't deserve rough treatment, whereas Cornwell asks for it. After all, I seem to recall she misspelled a victim's name. There can be no excuse for that.
                          On page 173 of her book Cornwell gets the spelling of my name wrong, i.e. Steward, and this error is repeated in the index. Surely this, too, is inexcusable?
                          SPE

                          Treat me gently I'm a newbie.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hi Mr Evans,
                            What about Sophie Herfort calling you P. Evans STEWARD in her bibliography?

                            Amitiés,
                            David

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by caz View Post
                              This thread makes the point for me about some perfectly literate and aware people being pathologically incapable of spelling this woman's name right.

                              Pasties come from Cornwall; Patsy's name is Cornwell. How hard can it be?

                              Pasties = Cornwall

                              Patsy = Cornwell

                              I'm sure this is the blind spot our graffiti artist was suffering from when he was mentally putting 'Juwes' up against the wall and shooting them for being Jews.

                              The difference is that the Jews didn't deserve rough treatment, whereas Cornwell asks for it. After all, I seem to recall she misspelled a victim's name. There can be no excuse for that.

                              Love,

                              Caz
                              X
                              Yeah, if she misspells Martha Tabram's name every time she mentions her in her book, I get to misspell hers!!!!!
                              What's all this then?

                              Comment

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