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  #11  
Old 11-10-2017, 08:21 AM
Robert Robert is offline
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This explains why Rover always suffocated people, given what he was filled with.
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  #12  
Old 11-10-2017, 09:18 AM
Sam Flynn Sam Flynn is offline
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VEGGIES

Why is it that vegetarian $hit smell so bad?
They told me that veggies were healthy,
They told me they'd make me grow big and strong -
Liars!
The only thing that's strong is the smell of vegetarian $hit;
The only thing that's big is the big deal they make about not eating good, honest, stinkless meat.
My dad leaves an awful smell on the bog,
But only since he's been taking extra roughage for his piles
And, in case you're thinking that it's age and arse-size that are the important factors, think again.
My sister's a complete rabbit-food freak and her $hit stinks to high heaven;
She's half the age of my dad, and doubtless her arse is proportionately smaller.
As for my mother... I frequently smother after she's been on her porcelain soap box
Singing away and singeing the paintwork with her acidic, cabbage-and-onion farts.
I just went into a toilet after a certain vegetable muncher had been on the pan and the stench was vile.
Some people have no idea of decency whatsoever.


(Sam Flynn, aged 18 and three-quarters)
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  #13  
Old 11-10-2017, 09:25 AM
Robert Robert is offline
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Gareth, you're just bitter because when you were singing some songs you asked for a flautist but got a flatulist.
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  #14  
Old 11-11-2017, 10:04 AM
Sam Flynn Sam Flynn is offline
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More farting news just in...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41950775
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  #15  
Old 11-11-2017, 12:42 PM
ChrisGeorge ChrisGeorge is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by c.d. View Post
"New Research Indicates Wives Benefit Health Wise from Farting Husbands"

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/...9Qc?li=BBnba9O

c.d.
I caught wind of this important new research. It's always good to know that our research dollars are being put to such good and important use.

Hey! There might even be a connection with climate change!
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  #16  
Old 11-13-2017, 07:40 AM
Abby Normal Abby Normal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisGeorge View Post
I caught wind of this important new research. It's always good to know that our research dollars are being put to such good and important use.

Hey! There might even be a connection with climate change!
HAHAHAHAHA!

maybe that's whats causing global warming! LOL
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