I hope this is'nt a repost, some brilliant creative writing

[jason_c]

I stumbled upon the following link. Its from a creative writing site, follow the adventures of Trent. You will not regret it.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showt...p?t=2055716814

[Archaic]

BUMP!

Like he says, you will not regret it!

My pal Ruby and I will be forever grateful to Jason for turning us on to the literary treasure that is Trent.

Skkrrk!
Archaic

[Hunter]

Totally... absolutely... freakin' brilliant!



'BANG! Trent shot the man dead! He fell on the floor like some shopping that hadn't been doubly bagged but there was heavy shopping in the bag, so the bag ripped. Trent was just like that, but no-one knew why.'


'Trent couldn't resist it. The casino had pulled him in. Like when you pull in all the stuffing from a cushion that your naughty dog has chewed up and left on the floor and instead of shouting at the dog your mum shouts at you because you were supposed to be watching him.'


'You could tell she fancied trent "Your a woman.Normally i would either have sex with you or kill you" siad trent "but i'm out of bullets". She smiled and started walking towards him. CRACK! Trent broke her neck with a sickening karate chop that probably would of even killed a man or any animal you can think of, a lion easily. not an elephant lets not be silly but it was a hard chop.'

[Jason]

just made me wee so much !! genius !!

[Rubyretro]

BLISS ..." SKRRK! SKRRK SKRRK! Somehwere in the distance Trent could hear it. SKRRK! SKRRK! SKRRK! Trent could well remember that noise from the time he was in the army. "I can well remember that noise from the time I was in the army" Trent thought. No time for thinking, he thought."

[jason_c]

One of my favourites.

Trent was having a flashback. He suddenly remembered lots of exciting things that had happened to him that really showed who he was. He was glad that there was no way people could of known what he was thinking because it really gave away a lot about him. He shook his head to refocus on what he had to do. "Oh yes, killing all them people" Trent thought. He chuckled to himself "hahaha" because of the flashback. "Gosh that would really explain a lot about me... if people only knew what I was just thinking about..." A man who was passing looked at him and wondered why he had said it. BANG! Trent shot the man dead! He fell on the floor like some shopping that hadn't been doubly bagged but there was heavy shopping in the bag, so the bag ripped. Trent was just like that, but no-one knew why.

[Jason]

possibly the funniest thing i have ever read......sat here crying with laughter earlier while my 2 year old was just looking at me wondering what on earth was going on ......

[Bridewell]

I love the way the ambassador's house is on the M25 from where Trent can see
Heathrow Airport, the statue of Big Ben (sic) and Oxford Circus.

Blimey. In post 56 he even manages to destroy a guard-dog suffering from a malady of discontent! It's gripping stuff this!

Trent is the greatest. Love it!

[Bridewell]

Peeeow!" peeowed Trent making a noise like a gun shooting. "Peeow " to you too said the shopkeeper

Simply epic!

[Rubyretro]

Simply epic!

This is one of my faves (but how can you choose ?)

One of the strippers had been had sex with off trent before though and could see what was happening! She summoned the other strippers with a hawk like shriek and they all surrounded Trent like people surrounding a person! There was no way trent was going to pay each one of them €20 euros so he had to think fast. Trent started doing the maths in his head ’37 strippers… decimal… three… power of ten…’ Trent was getting bored though and just decided to pulverise the head stripper with a fantastic wheelkick. He had remembered his army training about strippers and knew the rest would run away without there master. He didnt have the information but he wasnt going to leave empty handed. trent scooped up some of the stragglers and abseiled out of the building onto a passigng lorry.

[Archaic]

Got Trent?

Hey, Jason C. and Ruby, we have some new converts to the phenomenon known as Trent!

Just so everybody knows what's going on, Ruby & I discovered Trent because Jason kindly re-posted his gripping saga (uh, Trent's, not Jason's)
on a thread devoted to Bad Writing, called 'It Was A Dark and Stormy Night'.
It's located in Pub Talk and can be found here: http://forum.casebook.org/showthread.php?t=6683

You'll find more side-splittingly bad creative writing, as well as more thrilling Trent excerpts, numerous Trentcentric posts on a pretty much Trent-derailed thread, and a link to the other dozen or so chapters of 'The Adventures of Trent'.

It goes up to Chapter 20, and I would KILL to be able to read Chapter 21!! In fact, I would Chopkick or Snapkick pretty much anyone to get my hands on it...
It's times like these that I wish I had invested in a few good Henchmen.

Trent-heads Unite! (Umm, well, except maybe the ones of you what me and Ruby might have to kill later.)


- Oh wait - No; go on, unite.... yeah...sorry...

Just realized if you're all grouped together we can take you down with fewer synchronized snapkicks should Our Glorious Leader Trent give the secret signal.

Skrrkk!
Archaic

[jason_c]

I really want the blanks of Trents back story filled in. What is this SKRRK noise that so frightens him?(thats if trent is ever frightened).......who is "the boss"?......will Trent ever find love?.......what style of hat does Trent wear?.....so many questions...so few answers.


btw Im embarrassed by my punctuation mistake in the thread header. Im going to claim it was meant in an "ironic sense" to introduce you all into the world of Trent, a world where punctuation is for losers.

[Cogidubnus]

Yes, what an apostrophic error...

Dave

[Hunter]

If Trent finds love he's done for. Don't want that.


Trent took her in his arms like the duffle bag he used to have in the army. not quite he had to hold the duffle bag up to retreve somthing out of the top. trent pressed his lips against hers with a passion like sucking the last bit of juice out an orange slice but trying to avoid the pits.He couldn't stand the pits he would have to kill her for that....



No... no true love foe trent.

[Archaic]

I really want the blanks of Trents back story filled in. What is this SKRRK noise that so frightens him?(thats if trent is ever frightened).......who is "the boss"?......will Trent ever find love?.......what style of hat does Trent wear?.....so many questions...so few answers.

Jason, Jason...

Trent is the Über International Man of Mystery... he has no back story.

Well, maybe technically and biologically speaking he does, but if you ever learned his personal prequel...

You know he would have to kill you with a blindingly fast wheel-kick to your left carotid artery that would snap your neck like a dried-out rubber band what has lost its elastic stretch capability and snaps right in half, leaving you with no possible way to close your half-eaten bag of corn chips, not to mention an awkwardly dangling head that has put your eyes at the level of your collar-bone and makes it really hard to follow the rest of Trent's spectacular moves! -Do you want that to happen???


Er, sorry, got lost in the imagery there, a stupefied Jason with his floppy head seemed so real... Where was I? Oh, yeah, "backstory". Do you think James Bond has a backstory? No, he just IS.

Trent, that debonair killing machine, just IS.

And I'm pretty sure Pterodactyls go "Skkrrrk!"

At least the ones I've seen.

Peeoooww! to all,
Archaic