Why is it that vegetarian $hit smell so bad?
They told me that veggies were healthy,
They told me they'd make me grow big and strong -
The only thing that's strong is the smell of vegetarian $hit;
The only thing that's big is the big deal they make about not eating good, honest, stinkless meat.
My dad leaves an awful smell on the bog,
But only since he's been taking extra roughage for his piles
And, in case you're thinking that it's age and arse-size that are the important factors, think again.
My sister's a complete rabbit-food freak and her $hit stinks to high heaven;
She's half the age of my dad, and doubtless her arse is proportionately smaller.
As for my mother... I frequently smother after she's been on her porcelain soap box
Singing away and singeing the paintwork with her acidic, cabbage-and-onion farts.
I just went into a toilet after a certain vegetable muncher had been on the pan and the stench was vile.
Some people have no idea of decency whatsoever.
I'm sure this will go a long way explaining why women live longer than men. After all, this is vitality going out of the man's body and absorbed by women. Women, as far as science has been able to determine, do not allow their vitality to evacuate in the same manner.