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Gilbert and Sullivan did it..

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  • Gilbert and Sullivan did it..

    I am the very model of a maniac most serial
    a cricketer? a doctor? (maybe someone more imperial?)
    first hunted by the london met, and lately on the Internet
    tho' still they haven't caught me yet,the clues are not material

    Dim alleys, darkened doorways, cobbled streets, they are my habitat
    a single slash of shining steel, and sadly madam "that is that,"
    As abdomen and blade they kiss, "I fink that thats the uterus,
    if you don't mind I'm having this" ..I wipe me hands an' doff me hat




    In Dutfields yard I nearly come a cropper , due to one wrong stride
    I "Mitre" done it better, but they heard her cries so off i slide
    and bump into another one, forlorn desperate woebegone...
    I think she had an apron on,.. did I have chalk?..well you decide

  • #2
    BWAHAHAHHH!!!


    You really need to finish that!
    - Ginger

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Ginger View Post
      BWAHAHAHHH!!!


      You really need to finish that!
      I'd like to, but seems sometimes that such posts attract antipathy
      though why this is I cannot hardly fathom for the life of me
      "Ive not done nothing" ...there I give...another double negative..
      and someone through me words will sieve........"A sentence not..." apparently

      Comment


      • #4
        Oy! Ye talk about the bodies
        Ye talk about the blood
        Ye talk about the faded ladies
        Guts spilling like a flood

        Ever man's me enemy
        Cain't ever trust me mates
        Alcohol is no remedy
        But God knows we ain't saints

        Problem is, o' mate o' mine
        Ever since I were a nipper
        Me birth certificate finds
        Me legal name is Jack Ripper!

        An' now this bloody razor man
        What eats their kidneys like kippers
        Has made this part o' his mad plan
        Calls himself Jack the Ripper!

        Think I better run and hide
        Move across the river
        Before th' bloody peelers decide
        That I'm the bloomin' Ripper!
        And the questions always linger, no real answer in sight

        Comment


        • #5
          When I was a boy I served a while
          As a serial killer in Whitechapile,
          I sliced the whores
          With one indoors
          And now I appear in many bookstores

          [Pinafore with apologies]

          Phil H

          Comment


          • #6
            So round and round and round we go inspecting every avenue
            or alleyway in whitechapel, and god knows that we have a few,
            from Millers court to Dorset st, the pattern still stands incomplete
            which bobbies bobbed and on what beat?..we haven't got a bloody clue

            Comment


            • #7
              Poor slaughtering one.
              Thou has surely strayed.
              Running with grace
              Down alleys - no trace.
              Poor slaughtering one..un.

              Poor slaughtering one
              Thou art surely bizaare
              Let us just find
              some piece of mind.
              Take anyone's heart - but mine!

              Comment


              • #8
                In enterprise of police kind, if there was any detecting
                He led his forces from the Alps - He thought it not rejecting
                the reason he had got his job; His vacation was at the fore-oh.
                That celebrated, overrated spymaster, Sir Robert Ander-toro.

                To ladies of the pave, ha ha!
                He'd give them a curt wave, ha ah!
                That blithering incompetent, Sir Rober Ander-toro!

                Comment


                • #9
                  All:
                  He is a Ripper!
                  Bobbies:
                  He is a Ripper! Because he said it. And in his letters he did take credit! That he is a Ripper!
                  All:
                  That he is the Ripper!
                  Bobbies:
                  He might have been a cobbler, teacher or perhaps a hob-nobber
                  All:
                  Or perhaps a hob nobber!
                  Anderson:
                  Despite his dirty habbits We haven't quite cracked it
                  And he remains a Ripper
                  Yes he remains a Ripper
                  All:
                  Despite his killing spree
                  He is walking free
                  He remains a Ripper
                  He remains a Ripper
                  <Tempo Change>
                  Swanson:
                  An English Jack must be ready
                  To hold his knife ever steady
                  As he walks our parish streets
                  For the woman his mistreats...
                  There Will Be Trouble! http://www.amazon.co.uk/A-Little-Tro...s=T.+E.+Hodden

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    In an office, by a river, Sir Melville Mcnaughten cried "Killer! One Killer! One Killer!

                    I said to him, Mcnaughten why do you sit shouting "Killer! One killer! One Killer!

                    "Is it a weakness of intellect, Melville?" I cried

                    'Or has evidence come that you keep deep inside?"

                    He shook his poor little head and replied "Killer! One killer! One killer!"
                    The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I have a knife to use - OHHH

                      Tell us of your knife --- OH!

                      It is used by a goon, 'neath an autumnel moon,
                      to remove some ladies ---OOOHHH!

                      It's the knife of a maniac, oh so free,
                      Who kills at will, and at liberty,
                      Due to idiotic police attempts,
                      and massive hysteria through tenements
                      in districts houseing the urban poor
                      whom seem to be shunned as a troubling bore!
                      By the upper stratum of society
                      Who feels it is safe, as safe can be,
                      And I feel full of evil glee,
                      As I do in another poor ladye -EYE!

                      Ah me, ah me...mysery thee! BYE- BYE LADYE!
                      I have my thrill. Only you are ill,
                      as I do in another poor ladye -EYE!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Mikado

                        In an office, by a river, Sir Melville Mcnaughten cried "Killer! One Killer! One Killer!

                        I said to him, Mcnaughten why do you sit shouting "Killer! One killer! One Killer!

                        "Is it a weakness of intellect, Melville?" I cried

                        'Or has evidence come that you keep deep inside?"

                        He shook his poor little head and replied "Killer! One killer! One killer!"
                        As a G & S fan, a classical music lover, and a proud Brit I think this is pretty bloody clever...tit willow indeed...nice one errata


                        All the best

                        Dave

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Cogidubnus View Post
                          As a G & S fan, a classical music lover, and a proud Brit I think this is pretty bloody clever...tit willow indeed...nice one errata


                          All the best

                          Dave
                          It's kind of cheating as it is the only Gilbert and Sullivan I know. And only because I recited it at Forensics competitions in 8th grade. It's appalling that a Musical Theater major knows no G&S, but honestly it just never came up.
                          The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Errata View Post
                            It's kind of cheating as it is the only Gilbert and Sullivan I know. And only because I recited it at Forensics competitions in 8th grade. It's appalling that a Musical Theater major knows no G&S, but honestly it just never came up.
                            Am I the only one who thinks that Forensics Competitions should feature a Who soundtrack and lots of scnes shot from the bullets POV?
                            There Will Be Trouble! http://www.amazon.co.uk/A-Little-Tro...s=T.+E.+Hodden

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by TomTomKent View Post
                              Am I the only one who thinks that Forensics Competitions should feature a Who soundtrack and lots of scnes shot from the bullets POV?
                              Yeah my first one was disappointing I can tell you
                              The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

                              Comment

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