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  • #31
    There will be a slight delay while we redirect your call.

    c.d.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by Herlock Sholmes View Post
      Online betting companies really do encourage you to gamble responsibly.
      "When the fun stops, stop [because that'll be when we've already sucked you suckers dry]".

      "Gets rid of up to 99% of dandruff/pimples/germs/plague". [So anything from 0.001% to 99% then, which is pretty impressive.]

      "80% of the women surveyed [four nervous old dears in a nursing home and Peggy Mount] agreed with us that their skin felt smoother".
      Last edited by caz; 02-19-2018, 07:12 AM.
      "Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." Peter Ustinov


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      • #33
        How could I have missed out homeopathy?
        "Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." Peter Ustinov


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        • #34
          Redundancies:

          "Domestos kills all known germs dead"

          "Work colleague"

          "Pre-planning" and its evil relative "pre-prepare"

          "Good skill" (a phrase beloved of sports commentators)
          Kind regards, Sam Flynn

          "Suche Nullen" (Nietzsche, Götzendämmerung, 1888)

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Svensson View Post

            Something that probably only UK shoppers know:
            "unexpected item in bagging area."
            Nope, American supermarkets have self-checkout stations, too. They work so well, they have a human clerk stationed nearby to assist you when YOU fail to follow the instructions properly.
            Pat D. https://forum.casebook.org/core/imag...rt/reading.gif
            ---------------
            Von Konigswald: Jack the Ripper plays shuffleboard. -- Happy Birthday, Wanda June by Kurt Vonnegut, c.1970.
            ---------------

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            • #36
              Companies that make chocolates really do have chefs filling each individual chocolate with the care of someone diffusing a bomb.
              Regards

              Sir Herlock Sholmes.

              “A house of delusions is cheap to build but draughty to live in.”

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              • #37
                Vincent Van Gogh might have been Jack The Ripper.

                (I know....I really need to let this go )
                Regards

                Sir Herlock Sholmes.

                “A house of delusions is cheap to build but draughty to live in.”

                Comment


                • #38
                  "Men don't know where the dishwasher is."

                  Oh yes they do - she's in the kitchen.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Herlock Sholmes View Post
                    “We’ve been told that you’ve recently been involved in a car accident. Is that true?”
                    You getting those of
                    Ver there too
                    G U T

                    There are two ways to be fooled, one is to believe what isn't true, the other is to refuse to believe that which is true.

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by GUT View Post
                      You getting those of
                      Ver there too
                      They’re an absolute pain GUT. Six in one week is the worst we’ve had in our house. These people are now exempt from politeness.
                      Regards

                      Sir Herlock Sholmes.

                      “A house of delusions is cheap to build but draughty to live in.”

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        “Just follow the simple on-screen instructions.”
                        Regards

                        Sir Herlock Sholmes.

                        “A house of delusions is cheap to build but draughty to live in.”

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          TV stations are really being considerate when they say ‘here’s another chance for you to see.....’
                          Regards

                          Sir Herlock Sholmes.

                          “A house of delusions is cheap to build but draughty to live in.”

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            People often see outfits at top fashion shows and say “I’d wear that.”
                            Regards

                            Sir Herlock Sholmes.

                            “A house of delusions is cheap to build but draughty to live in.”

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Myleene Klass’s desire to be taken seriously is never compromised by the fact that every time she’s photographed her clothes appear to have fallen off.
                              Regards

                              Sir Herlock Sholmes.

                              “A house of delusions is cheap to build but draughty to live in.”

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                The thing that I like about Arsene Wenger is the fact that he’s never biased in his comments.
                                Regards

                                Sir Herlock Sholmes.

                                “A house of delusions is cheap to build but draughty to live in.”

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